A year is really not that long to start putting up boundries. Tell MIL you have given it a year and it isn't working. It will only get harder as time goes on to get out. There has to be respect on both sides and open communication.
Two adult women cannot live in the same house especially when one owns it. It will always be her house. Her rules. Better she moved in with you and then you could have set boundries. I think its a little better when the women are daughter and Mom but when the other woman is a daughter in law?
As said, it all has to do with Moms health. Is there Dementia? Can she do for herself?
Is it financial? Are the utilities, upkeep, food, etc more than her income? If this is the problem then call Moms bluff. Tell her if her abuse continues, you will move but by doing this...she may lose her home. So she has a decision to make. Be kinder or lose the house. You and husband need a sit down. Is it worth putting up with her abuse?
Cindy, you don’t give many details. Whose idea was it for you to move in with her? Is she physically ill or has dementia and she needs to be taken care of? Was she always like this, or did this start when you moved in?
If she was always difficult, you had to know she wouldn’t change when you moved in. If she suddenly changed, she may resent your living there and if she has dementia, many people who suffer from it can be unreasonably mean.
Not knowing the situation, all I can say is, “move”. Do what you need to. Use her funds to pay for upkeep of her house. If there are no funds, file for Medicaid and look for a facility, or, if she is healthy and functional, leave her to her own devices or put the responsibility on another family member. You tried and it didn’t work.
Do so!! No one says you have to give up your life to take care of your ungrateful mother. You and Your husband deserve a life - move out and go live it!
As said, it all has to do with Moms health. Is there Dementia? Can she do for herself?
Is it financial? Are the utilities, upkeep, food, etc more than her income? If this is the problem then call Moms bluff. Tell her if her abuse continues, you will move but by doing this...she may lose her home. So she has a decision to make. Be kinder or lose the house. You and husband need a sit down. Is it worth putting up with her abuse?
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If she was always difficult, you had to know she wouldn’t change when you moved in. If she suddenly changed, she may resent your living there and if she has dementia, many people who suffer from it can be unreasonably mean.
Not knowing the situation, all I can say is, “move”. Do what you need to. Use her funds to pay for upkeep of her house. If there are no funds, file for Medicaid and look for a facility, or, if she is healthy and functional, leave her to her own devices or put the responsibility on another family member. You tried and it didn’t work.