Has anyone bought a multigenerational home? If so, how is it working out?

Follow
Share

I see signs that my mom needs more care. We tried having her live in our home before, but it just didn't work. She wanted our constant company, doesn't have friends and she doesn't drive. She always wanted the grands (or me) to wait on her and wouldn't attempt much on her own. Having her right under our roof gave us no privacy as she doesn't sleep much and I once caught her standing outside me and hubby's bedroom door! We can't afford assisted living. She is in an independant facility now, but I don't think she can last much longer on her own. Just thought maybe one of those new housing concepts of home within a home might work.

12

Answers

Show:
Thanks for all the advice. Y'all are right. No need upsetting a whole family to move when she wouldn't be in her "apartment" anyway as she'd rather always be in the main house.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to desperada
Report

Thanks for all the advice. You guys are right. She would probably not be in her unit very much. No need moving a whole family to another house just so she could be mainly in the main part anyway.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to desperada
Report

Some people think they’ll have pockets in their shroud.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to HolidayEnd
Report

shakingdustoff . :( about your brother and the possible loss of your parent's beautiful
dream. I find this stuff so aggravating and also so sad.

"Can't take it with you"-- doesn't seem to resonate with some folks.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to bettina
Report

you wrote, "we" cant afford assisted living. isn't independent living expensive?
if ~she~ doesn't have the money, maybe you can have her apply for M-cal/Medicaid
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-pay-for-assisted-living-153842.htm
there's an article from this site.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to wally003
Report

I think this arrangement works if the parent(s) already have independent natures
and like to maintain their privacy and help out as much as they can. I've seen folks
that even when fairly disabled, knit hats and scarves and help prepare food and read
to grandkids. I've seen those who are still fairly mobile expect to be waited on night and
day and still intrude on their adult children's privacy.

Whatever style they had with you growing up expect more of the same. And then add
on care taking duties. And all bets are off if they have dementia. Even very compliant sweet grandparents with mild dementia can make a very big impact.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to bettina
Report

Your mom won't behave any differently in a multi-generational home than she did when she lived in your home. More space does not equal different behavior
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to jjariz
Report

I grew up in upstate New York where 2-family houses were in just about every older neighborhood. The elderly parents would live in the main level apartment, and one of the grown child and his/her family lived in the 2nd floor apartment.

These 2 family houses, the apartments were quite large, even through there was one small bathroom. There was a long set of stairs at the front door and at the back door for the second floor apartment. As parents aged, those steps up were no longer user friendly. Thus, there was privacy for the grown child and their family.

My sig other's family of relatives lived in these 2 family houses and it worked out quite well. This was back decades ago. Now a days, the grown children, if they still lived in the area, had moved out to the suburbs.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to freqflyer
Report

In my experience, It doesn’t work. It hasn’t for me. Your house is no longer your house and in my case , I’m happier not at home.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Erinm60
Report

How would this help any as your mother becomes increasingly needy?
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to CTTN55
Report

Related
Questions