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sadlady42 Posted October 2015

I'm the black sheep of the family and for the last 10 years I had to step up and help take care of my Mom.

I never got along with my parents. My brothers and sister are no help. I use thr van and smetmes I feel like I owe thm smethg. I don't get paid for helping her and I'm on disability myself. I'm so tired, stressed out, hving anxiety attacks and panic attacks. Now my dad health is going down. I need a vacation but scared to leave parents. I was gonna move to Virginia but felt so guilty I just stayed. Can I get paid for shopping, washing thr clothes, running errands and taking him to the doctors among other things.. it's like I can't get a please or a thank u. I just sit and look at my mom and I cry. She's just giving up. She gets smart wth me whn I'm just trying to help her. I dad nver takes her any whr and she calls me to go riding and thn whn we do she doesn't wnt to stay out long. Her and my dad hve the same Dr. and sometimes thy hve appts on the someday and tme and I still hve to take her to her appt. My dad always treated me different because he is not my biological father. I'm the second oldest. He kicked my son and myself out and we had to sleep in my car at my storage. Git in car accident Oct 13, 2014 and tht was a few days be4 my bday and he was so upset cause the insurance company totaled his van and had to get a new one.. I just so tired of doing stuff for thm. I hve a hard tme saying no or i need a break.Thy nver ask my siblings to do anything. Plz help. Need information on getting paid. Thk u.

freqflyer Oct 2015
Sadlady, vast majority of grown children do not get paid unless their parents can pay them out of their own retirement fund. And since you are receiving disability checks from the government, income from your parents might possibly cause a snag in your disability payments. You will need to do some homework here regarding these issues.

GardenArtist Oct 2015
Instead of trying to get paid, I think you'll do better for yourself if you find a way to get out of this situation.

Tell the siblings you can no longer handle the caregiving and they need to develop a plan to take over. Set a deadline for this.

In the meantime, find other living arrangements, even if it's in a temporary women's shelter.

You're obviously miserable in this situation; being paid for doing it may offset some of the misery but there are still dysfunctional family issues that aren't going to abate with being paid, and there's the issue that you yourself have health problems and your parents need assistance which you can't physically provide.

If you have a social worker for your disability issues, ask him or her to help you extricate yourself from this situation. And good luck!

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