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fixercantfix Posted September 2014

Monster in law with frontal lobe dysfunction & dementia.

My mother-in-law has always been a mean & hateful person. April was a year ago we found out she has Frontal Lobe Dysfunction & early signs of Dementia.
She would rather argue than eat when she's hungry. She enjoys upsetting people. She has lived with my husband(her son) & I for 14 Years.
It was hard enough before but now my husband works out of town. He leaves at 5 a.m. & gets home around 5:30 p.m. & avoids her as much as possible. Now my mom has Alzheimers & I need to help with her & at the same time, mother-in-law is suddenly scared to stay by herself. I don't have the money to hire someone to stay with her. I am all she has but I can't take being around her 24/7. I have always been the fixer with my family, but, I don't know how to fix this. She drives me up the wall!
Any ideas?

pamstegma Sep 2014
Get MIL to memory care. You have done MORE than your part and her condition is not going to get better. Your mother may do well in Assisted Living for now, and that gives her lots of company and activities.

MaggieMarshall Sep 2014
Does MIL get Social Security? Use it to get in companions on a regular basis. The average monthly SS benefit is $1200 a month. Even with Medicare and a supplement, that still leaves $800 easy. That'll buy quite a few hours. In our neck of the woods, suburban Chicago, it'd buy close to 40 hours a month.

When hubby gets home, it's his turn. You go out . . . run errands for your mom, visit with her. It easily becomes a habit to be "stuck in the house," I know. I have a tendency to do the same thing.

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