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I am concerned for him. He is 88, has Parkinsons and it seems to be getting worse. He is having trouble walking and his hearing is very bad. He is also diabetic. His doctor retired several months ago and his daughter in law finally got an appointment with a new doctor for end of November. I am afraid that he needs help and am also afraid that he will fall because his legs keep "going numb". One son lives in Florida and the other son lives a few miles away. I don't want to get in the middle but am concerned. I am the one who sees him daily. I cannot be the only person responsible for his care. He has become dependent on me. What can I do? Please help.

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How blunt have you been so far with the local son and DIL about your concerns? If it were me, I'd make myself plain to the point of downright ugly, then call them on each occasion that seemed to warrant it - i.e. when you find yourself doing something for your neighbour that they should more properly do, and i.e. make yourself a pest. Your neighbour is your neighbour, not your blood; and biblical requirements aside you're not obliged to lift a finger, you know. It's very decent of you to behave so kindly, but stop letting the children duck the issue.
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Not once you've reported it, I'd say. But I think one would be on thin ice if a helpless person were left on their own, even if they refused help. There are some things one does not have to ask permission for. That's my thought, anyhow.
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Can it be elder abuse if the person in question refuses any type of care, and that person is still in clear mind?
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The suggestion to pull back on your support is a good one. You might even call the daughter (or whatever child lives close) and tell her you've got to reduce your support -- tell them what all you've been doing for him. Pam's right. They may have tried to get him into assisted living, and he's refusing. By your enabling him, you could actually be standing in the way of what's best for him . . .
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Sounds like you are already in the middle. Contact the county social services. Explain the whole situation and that you cannot continue to do what this man's sons should be tending to. Give them the name, address if you have it and phone number if you have it for each son. His sons are neglecting him and that might be a form of elder abuse.
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Call Adult Protective Services or your Senior Social Services and tell them that your neighbor seems to be neglected and it can't fall on you to be the person who's making sure he's okay. Ask to be kept anonymous.
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Make sure you have the contact numbers for his sons and daughter. When he falls down, and he will, you call 911 and give them the contact info.
He needs to be in Assisted Living or have in home care but I'll bet he refuses both. He will continue to refuse as long as you enable him to, by picking up the pieces. Work with the family to get him placed.
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