If don't have Power of Attorney for my mother can I still take her out of a nursing home and have her live with me?

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yrs, 55 in her apt which was emptied and no longer hers-i wasnt told ,i never did any going thru of her things-i dont feel my brother is giving her the kind of care she deserves-he has her in a nh far from her frinds and me-she keeps telling me to bring her shoes and come close quickly ,hedoesn visit- butnot for any lenght of time-he doesnt feel her the way i do-i am the elsdest-he is the youngest-mom and i have a speial bond iknow this isworse for her thanme and itsperetty badforebut he has control not sure howhe managed to get her to take my name off of the edical POA, but he did-he keeps me as out of theinfo /med loop as possible
i have to jump thru hoops toget any real answers and not the answers that are usually given
that will be what general and not personal ;like oh she is ok, ot like oh she is fine everything is ok= hard to get details
i am worried about her
it is a clean place,but understaffed, not alot ofindividual care, and basically a ware house for medicated elderly people,that are medicated,and frustrated,and left to just rant and rave---things can be done to help calm people down- without having to medicate them into zombie land-
but this isnt good for her
she deserves better
any ideas ?anyone had similar experience?
im disgusted-
she is frightened and wants me close talks about death if she doesnt get out of there=
but when i ask- she is doing fine-
bull.

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Jeanne..I spoke with a social worker today and I will keep you posted.Thanks again for the help....
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Thanks Coach,
I appreciate your comment,but I am aware of all you stated. I have done lots of research and asked questions for the past 7 months. I wouldn't jeopardize my mom's well being to satisfy myself. I have been trained to suction, unclog the feeding tube and have learned the diaper changing. That is not the issue..
Its been a mistake all along by agencies and lying social workers and doctors to keep my mother in a nursing facility. Its very easy to state to keep her in nursing home when you are there most of the day and have to constantly remind them to change her diaper (which they prefer to do every 8 or 10 hours . "Patient Care" at hospitals is "Don't Care". I am more than sure that with her at home I can change her frequently and it would be a less negative environment.Clothes getting lost and stolen items are a turn-off and people after money.This is all a scam and a business. I wont give up and I will stop when she dies..At least I wont feel bad and cant say I tried.Thanks for the well wishes..I hope I get my wish and prayer.
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You stated your mother can't swallow and is receiving nourisment by use of a tube. But more importantly you said your mother has a trach. It would appear that your mother really needs skilled nursing care provided by the nursing home she is in. Are you a licensed nurse? Do you know anything about trach care? For that matter do you know anything about tube feedings that your mother will need, most likely for the rest of her days. A trach can become blocked at anytime and require suctioning. What happens to mom if this occurs during the 20 hours a day that home health is not around?? Medicaid won't pay for a nurse to be in your home 24 hours per day. Leave mom in the nursing home for her own good. See if there is any chance of having Speech Therapy work with her on her swallowing problem and Respiratory Therapy to work with her on possibly getting her off the trach. If this can be done, by all means take her home. If not, you need to realize that your mom has some very serious problems. I know this isn't what you want to hear. But just giving an honest opinion. All the Best to your Mom and You.
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That is why I suggest you contact a social worker outside of the facility -- it doesn't sound like you can build a working relationship there.
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Well she is not brain dead,but she does understand commands and is able to answer questions even though we cannot hear her voice.To me she is legally competent.She cries and tells me she wants to go home.The hospital social worker is doing absolutely nothing to help me.She made me believe she was,but that is not what I am seeing and I haven't met the one assigned to the new facility.
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Is your mother of sound mind? That is, would she be considered legally competent? If so, she can decide to leave the nursing home -- it isn't a prison -- or to appoint you her medical proxy.

Usually (at least in this state) someone on Medicaid has a case manager or social worker assigned. Does your mother? That would be a good person to contact.
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sorry if i wasn't clear jeanne.This is what happened.My mom is "86" and after suffering a stroke in dec. 2010, she was sent to a hospital to be taken off the ventilator. she ws stabilized almost immediately and her doctor was always telling me to take her home.at that time, she had "No" Medicaid,but I had applied in December 2010 and never got a response.Well, she had been eligible since December and had Medicaid for over 6 months without me knwoing about it (according to them at the hospital). As soon as I provided them with the Medicaid Info,they fooled me and left a letter by my moms bed stating she had to be moved to a Nursing Facility because she was "Medically Stable". I was told that the goal was always to bring her home but that no agency would want her case. I found out through Medicaid and agencies who have been calling me that they were not opposed to giving her home care services. Last Friday, my mother was moved to a "Nursing Facility" within the hospital without my consent.I have not spoken to anyone and I feel my rights or my mother's rights were violated. I have a POA but for fiances only to be able to do any bank transactions,because my mom has no money or properties.She receives her SS check there(direct deposit) and I pay her bills.Apparently what I am seeing is they were determined all along to stay with her and collect Medicaid,Medicare and her check and stay with her. I would love with all my heart for my mother to come back home and when her time comes to be at home. As for your question, (is she going soon),well I have no idea.It was just a comment since we never know when our time is,but she is doing great. I know for a fact they used the lame excuse because she still cant swallow and has her trache and is being fed milk through the tube in stomach; that is all. Visiting Nurse services have stated a guarantee of 4 hours daily and will provide more hours if Medicaid pays,but they ignore me when go and speak with them. I hope I have answered your questions .Thanks for your concern and please feel free to ask me more if required.
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cathyluv52, can you give us a little more information? Are you medical proxy/POA? How old is your mother? What is her medical/mental status? Was your mother sent to a Transitional Care Unit in a nursing home, for Rehab? If so, how long is she supposed to stay there? Who is paying for the NH? Is she on hospice? When you mention going to the Lord, is that likely to be soon?
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I thought I was alone on this one. Thank God it has nothing to with with a brother-sister issue. I have been deceived by the social worker at the hospital and my mother was placed in an nursing home without my consent. Can anybody help me or refer me to someone? They think they own her!!! All I want to do is bring her home until she goes with the LORD, is that so difficult? Please respond..I am desperate!!
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I agree with you about the heart to heart if that is possible. It unfortunately is not always that easy. It wasn't for me. My sister and I were very close and I never thought we would be at this point and not talk at all. Money, jealousy, guilt and greed are the root of all evil. It takes a toll on my family and our life as we cannot go anywhere and we get no help in the day to day things mom needs and her care. It is definitely not easy to care for someone in your home with dementia and I live it every day and my heart aches as I watch my mom go downhill a little more each day. It must be thought out very carefully but you cannot sit and watch a loved one just be put somewhere out of convenience to get them out of the way if that is the case. If krn can talk to her brother than that is where to start. If not, then careful thought needs to be taken to take care of mom.
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