How do you help someone who doesn’t see the need?
Dad was hospitalized, then placed in a nursing home a year and 1/2 ago. She depended upon him for almost everything, and couldn't maintain their huge home. Then she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, on top of Emphysema, COPD, RLS, Spinal Stenosis, and more. She also has some serious cognitive disorders, which prevent clear understanding of her situation. Like many of you, she has turned against the ones trying to help her. No matter what we try to do to help, or how we try to be a blessing, she dwells on the negative. She is critical and complaining, paranoid and manipulative.
Mom lives to socialize and spend money, and detests any restrictions on her freedoms to do exactly as she pleases, with no thought to personal safety, or common sense budget restrictions. Any attempt to moderate her activity with healthy boundaries, is met with utter comtempt. I am very conservative, and she is way over the edge extreme, so we do not agree. This has put considerable stress on an already strained relationship, and is at a breaking point - my breaking heart. I feel we've done all we can for mom, and cannot save her from her poor choices. She is bent on having her way, even lying to get it. Others do not see this, and work against our efforts to set boundaries. I feel as though we're fighting, not just Mom, but all her "allies," as well. Don't they see how unhealthy all this is? My heart hurts to see enablers make her problems worse!
We are running out of options, and hope our Attorney can help. He has offered some type of hope, and I am eager to speak with him next week. I am literally praying for a miracle.