My mother was always physically abusive when I was a kid and now she lives with me. When she couldn't abuse me physically anymore she resorted to the verbal kind. I am the only child (of four) left so she is my responsibility. My husband and I are separated but he is still in the picture. He is long on adivce and short on help. My grown children don't want to bother with her because she never says much that is pleasant and has always degraded me in front of them. I made a mistake having her live with me. Nothing I provide (and it's a lot) is quite up to her standards even though I'd have no mortgage if I hadn't had to buy a home with an apartment in it to accomodate her.
I feel depressed a lot of the time and so tired of hearing about her accomplishments while never getting a bone tossed my way about mine or what I have provided for her. She has never worked and has always had an easy lifestyle. Nothing I provide or do is quite good enough. She does pay me some rent but feels she should be living with me for free. I can't understand what it is she feels I owe her. This week I am putting out 3500.00 (that I can't afford) on a bathroom reno for her and all I've been told is that she could care less. I've been dealing with this defiant woman for four years in my home and a lifetime before that. How do I continue to cope? She can't afford to move to a seniors home, nore does she want to. The government will subsidize her for assisted living as she qualifies financially but they don't want the expense when there is me to oversee her care. She can still do the day to day activities like microwave cooking, and her own toiletries... so they tell me she doesn't meet their criteria for assisted living... on their dime. I am stuck.
Lately she has started telling lies and then telling me I am a bit mental and it's me that's lying because I just want her out of my house. Talk about wanting to rip your hair out!
Help! I am going to go to my first Caregiver meeting at the beginning of next month. I hear they are a lifesaver.