How do I deal with my brother-in-laws that only want to help out when it's convenient for them?

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Solid advice, JA.

SoAlone, you thought of complications a lot of us would have considered. Good questions.

You people are awesome!
Kiki: You definitely need legal advice. The legal term is "undue influence" and if your brother-in-law has exercised that to the benefit of your sister and himself, you need to take action.

Typically, if you are listed on an account as titleholder, you cannot just be taken off without your permission. If you are in a will or the beneficiary of an IRA, pension, savings account, CDs or other types of financial products (POD) Payable on Death, your mother has the legal right to make those changes without your permission if she has legal capacity.

If you have any doubt about what's happened, now is the time to rectify it, not after your mother is gone. Consult an attorney, give them the facts, and see what they say you can do. There are a lot of legal and emotional issues surrounding what you're facing: it's good you're aware of what's happening, take advantage of that and act now.

If you don't know a good attorney in your area, call your state's Bar Association and ask for the Lawyer Referral Service. They might also refer you to your local Bar Association if you live in a metropolitan area.

Also, be sure your mother has a Will, a Durable Power of Attorney, Healthcare Power of Attorney, Advanced Medical Directive and any other documents your attorney recommends in your state. You definitely need to call an attorney ASAP. Many referral attorneys will offer a an initial consultation at a reduced rate.

Great question and best wishes,

Are the brother-in-laws the children of the parent in question? Is the parent your mother or father or theirs?
Hi Lady M., If u done the CD on your own, they cannot make u cash it in. If you r the poa that will stop after the person passes away.If you r the guardian, u can make all the decisions. Iam a caretaker for my husband, I went thru all this down to the social security office. No matter what i decide his family can`t do anything.All u need to do is go to ss and they will lead u in the right direction.U just have to start saving reciepts for the money u spend on her. My husband puts my name on his accts. as jointly. If and when he passes no one can touch it. I hoped i helped u out. God Bless U and all the caretakers out there. U can`t let other people walk in and try to take over. STAND YOUR GROUND.
My brother n law just got my mother to put my sister on all her accounts and remove all her savings without my knowledge. Now he's harassing me to transfer back a cd that I did online for my mother but doesn't mature until one more month. If I do it now there is a 492 penalty. Do I have any legal rights? I was the sole caregiver for 4 yrs now they've taken over with a vengence
Tell them no.don`t worryabout them getting upset,They probably don`t worry about u because they know u are there for the person who needs them.

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