Do all siblings have a right to know what is in their Mother's legal documents regarding Power of Attorney?

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Our younger sister is POA and all we know is 'documents' were signed and executed. We don't know if they are the original documents we saw in draft form or if they would have changed.

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I am my mothers POA and I suppose if my sister asked me I would show her my mothers will. I don't know that I will show her much more than that because she has no interest in helping me with mother. My mom doesn't have a lot but she does have a few $$ in the bank - no property now as we just sold her place.
It would really irritate me if my sister wanted to HELP me manage the money but not HELP me with everyday problems.
Top Answer
It only makes sense to me that all close relatives have copies of documents such as POA and medical proxy. A primary purpose of such documents is to make the parents' wishes known and to appoint someone to carry those wishes out. Why would that be a secret? The more everyone knows what to expect, the better. As for a will, I guess that would be up to the parent to say who should see it.

I recently held a family meeting and went over these documents with our five children, so they know what to expect. Their father is in early stage dementia and is relatively healthy now, so discussions now are less traumatic than they might be at the end.

I just don't understand why any parent wouldn't prepare all children equally, even if responsibilities are divided up.
You can tell you all have different families than mine. I was always upfront and called everyone about what was going on with my parents when I took care of them. Now that my dad has passed away and my mom is the only one in the picture I have had everything ripped from me. My sisters took my mom down to the attorney and the bank and changed everything. This happened only a month or so after my dad's death. No one even told me. The next thing I knew I was being accused of stealing pot plants from mother and even more crazy bizarre things like that. My sister took control of everything and I stepped back. I just recently stepped back in to help because my mother told me my sister was abusing my mom's bank account. And it turned out to be true so I began the helping process with my mother and canceled the POA, the bank accounts, etc etc.......with my sister knowing what was going on. Now a month later I have been accused of stealing all of my mothers money and taking over. My sisters once again changed the bank account, changed the POA, etc etc.........There was never any money fact during that months time I bought groceries, prescriptions, and necessities with my own money for my mother. My mom just sits and "Plays" dumb and sides with all of their accusations. The only phone call I get from either sister is just accusations of more items being car keys, safety deposit box key, all the suff in the safety deposit box, house keys etc etc........In their hearts they know I have not done anything wrong and there is nothing missing.....I KNOW I have not done anything wrong all I have done is try and help my mother escape from the evil deceiving winches that my sisters have become but if my mother cannot help herself I dont see a way that I can help her. It is totally destroying me that they could accuse me of such things. They even called APS and fabricated some stories to them. I have all my ducks in a row now and have taped conversations, and signed documents with my mother stating she wanted me to help her and she trusted me. I have copies of disconnect notices when I stepped in where no one had paid her bills. I have a nurse saying she was not being taken care of very well. I have old bank statements showing where my sister used my mothers debit card and continuosly taking it has started all over again......mother has sided with them and left me out in the cold with all the accusations and hurt. I stepped back. They have changed everything again and I know nothing of how everything is set up. I just know it is NOT me who is the one chosen to help. I would like to know because lies and deceipt are not how I am and one day I will have to step in again when they all have failed in her care.
NoVoice, what is your mother's condition? She should be the one showing you these documents -- they are hers. What is the situation there?
Mom has beginnings of dementia, short term memory isn't good, she still knows family and grandkids, but can't handle bills. Ever since she signed/executed the docs that gave my younger sister 'all powers' figured it wasn't my right to ask.

Mom has NO COMPREHENSION of how deeply she hurt my older sister and me by not giving us ANY legal role, at all. We feel we have been deemed 'unworthy' even though my older sister and I have always been responsible, dependable, did the 'right' things growing up. We've always done what we can to take care of Mom, when necessary, and called her regularly (weekly/every 2 wks).... Meanwhile our younger sister who is the one who declared bankruptcy and has asked for money from Mom several times and of course Mom gave it. Not loans - just outright handouts. But somehow my older sister and I are the 'bad ones'.
You are probably right, NoVoice. She probably has no idea that she has hurt you. Hurting you was not her intention at all. That should give you some comfort.
I do believe all immediate family members should know what is in a parent's legal documents. However, I have yet to understand why my mother never told my step-dad about her living will or that she had given me durable and medical POA, and had stored her 1979 will in a lock box where she grew up until 5 years ago which I bet he has never seen. All of the above has made it tough on my relationship with my step-dad.
I feel that all three of us daughters should know what is in Mom's legal papers, in her accounts, account information and etc.... What if something unexpected happens to our sister who is POA and neither my older sister nor I know what to do?
there are 7 children grown and my father is 82 years old there is no pow can one just take over and do what he or she wants to do.
I agree that when papers are signed the best thing is to just have a meeting and tell everyone. Equally I understand that some parents will NOT advise what is in their will as they may change it and or it does not equally divide things and do NOT want their children to treat them based on what they will or will not get when they die.
I feel that it's up to the parents to share the documents and that no other child should share the info if the parents ask them not too.
Having said that I also believe that if parents are treating children unequally and without good cause and you know it (as their child) AND if you are to be the POA or trustee you can and SHOULD express your concerns and consider refusing to be teh POA or trustee. If there is good cause fine but then they should put the reasons to paper so that when the time comes the POA or trustee can share the logic as written by the parent(S).
If you are the POA then share with your parents that you want a relationship with your siblings when they are gone and how THEY handle these matters has long lasting impact. That you may need your siblings help to take care of them and if they resent how things are set up it probably will impact your ability to take care of them with family help.
Once you are the POA is in effect (parent unable to handle their own affairs) then I believe sharing the POA document and open comunication if the best policy. After the inital sharing the follow ups could be by e-mail. Anything to keep everyone informed and provide documents to assure them everything is on the up and up from day one.

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