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My parents, age 88 & 86 live next door to me. My brother, POA and executor lives in NJ. Will this be a problem? Right now my parents are living on their own and are relatively healthy. I will be the designated one to physically care for them when the time comes. I am the surviving daughter. My younger brothers both live in NJ and are very much hands on. We have open communication and they are willing to do whatever it takes when the time comes, but my concerns are that I am not their POA. Can you see that posing a problem? They have a Will and Health Directives which my brother has a copy and is their POA.

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Does a caregiver have any rights when the POA livers out state with health care decisions
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Is there any problem with making you an alternate on the POAs? Unless the brother wants to move them close to him and take care of them, he should not object to this. I have been having this similar problem with my brother. He has all the power but also lives near Mom. I am the one who lives away. But I know when the time comes, I will be the one to take care of her. He has proven himself over and over to not be "there" for her. I have talked until I am blue in the face about the problems this can cause. But decided "whoever has the power, has the responsibility". In my family it is a "male in charge" thing. Just wait until you have to start really caring for one or both of your parents and your hands are tied. Iwould talk to your brothers and see how they respond, hopefully they will agree with you. But as I said, the person taking care of the parent or parents should not have their hands tied and made to ask for the things they need. If you are good enough to take care of the parent, you are good enough to not have to beg. :)
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It depends on how cooperative your family is and how quickly your brothers will respond to a medical or financial emergency.
Normally, the direct caregiver has both POAs. But with all the electronic devices we have now it is possible to make the distance thing work.
I pay all my Mom's bills online which is so easy. Medical POAs are really there for end of life issues and the decisions that come with them. Everytime you take your Mom to a new doc or hospital, she can designate you a one of her contacts. It is part of the HIPPA act. Then you can call her docs for information.
I think the financial POA should reside with the person who is most capable and responsible for making those types of decisions. It is less complicated if all bills are funneled to one person.
good luck
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Yes, it will be a problem. When I first moved back home a couple of years ago, my sister was POA and took care of my parents' financial matters even though she lived a couple states away. Once I became primary family caregiver, I couldn't even make a deposit at the bank without being their POA. When I took Mom or Dad to the Dr and started handling their medical issues, the Dr offices needed a POA on file in order to discuss their healthcare, schedule appointments or request prescriptions. What we did was add my name as POA on their legal paperwork with the help of the attorney. My sister continues to take care of bills but if there's something urgent that needs to be paid I am able to write a check on behalf of my folks. I found out in a hurry that it was essential for me to be named POA since I am with them most of the time.
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What happens when you have to buy something for their care? Are the brothers going to reimburse you or are they going to come to where you live and buy the stuff themselves? That kind of thing would be what I would want to know.
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