My mother is living in a nursing home. She is treating everyone poorly, arguing and throwing temper tantrums, and refusing care. I am doing the best I can with this behavior, but I'm finding it harder and harder to cope. Any suggestions?
My mother has severe COPD, a Stage IV pressure ulcer, CHF, and depression (for which she will not take any meds). She is a retired RN (former assistant charge nurse at a nursing home) is in a nursing home which she hates (although the care she is receiving there is the best of any she has been in recently) and has recently thrown a temper tantrum (kicking, screaming, hitting the bed) when she found out she could not change to a different facility because they lacked the ability to care for her wound. This is because no one at that facility has any training using a wound vac. I visit every other day, do her laundry and do my best to listen to her. She is making very poor health decisions (refusing treatment and refusing drugs) but her doctor informed me that getting HCPOA invoked will be difficult at best since she is still cognizant of her surroundings. Just last night she accused us of all being in a coalition against her. I only want what is best for her and her own doctor told her it is best that she stay in the nursing home she is in as family is close. She refuses to listen to reason and only keeps saying "no one listens to me, no one cares about me, etc." My sister tries her best to help and be there when I need to vent (she lives 2 hours away). I also work full-time. My job requires a 45 minute commute (one way) each day. I am becoming more and more stressed each day and even broke down in tears yesterday. I know she is afraid and in pain and I have told her I understand all those things, but I am doing the best I can and only want what is best for her. She tells everyone she wants me to stop running her life but yet I don't come to visit often enough. I am doing the best I can but am finding it harder and harder to cope. Any suggestions?