When it is time to walk away from it all.

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Here I am. Finally got my driver's license, trying to take care of two houses and two cars. My grandma is still in a personal care home but thanks to the care home now telling me I owe them money for personal spending due to state law. Now her rent is more than what she is bringing in. I'm still unemployed but I have a job that is still hiring and have a spot for me when I'm able to drive back and forth. Now the personal care home told me if I can't pay it by next week, they will be her new payee. Leaving me without a way of paying any bills here. So now I'm running against time. As many times I asked them if I still owe anything they kept telling me no, I had credit on her rent. I feel like throwing in the towel. She told them she wants a new POA as well and is now willing to have my dad to step in. I feel like I should get this job get my car, go to job corp and leave this place. Revoke my POA and ask to be removed from anything of hers and let the facility and my dad do it. I've been fighting agianst my dad for the past 3 years to make sure she was taken care of while he was just using her for money and wouldn't do any work. I'm here trying to spread the money to pay her taxes, up keep her house and guest house and her car. All without a job and still pay her rent and other things. Today it was a slap in the face. Though I have explained to her many of times I don't have the extra bus fare to see her as of late but I will see her. She, I'm guessing the dementia i causing her not to remember or understand. Though the doctor said she is competent and she understands what is going on, that just hurts even more. I feel it's time I just leave the place I'm used to and just go on with my life. I guess I'm here to vent and seek validation of my actions. I've been told I'm selfish when I do ask for help or when I need to take time for myself. I've been told I'm not trying hard enough for a job and I only have two jobs that called me and one is holding a spot for me for another 2 weeks. But I feel no matter what I have done it's never enough for anyone let alone I'm drained from waiting for something to happen.


Let them be the rep payee and let Dad be the POA. He can sell her house and car so she can pay her bills. You take care of YOU first. Good luck.
That you love and care for your grandma is commendable. She's very lucky to have you in her corner.

But you can't take care of someone if you're trying to get your own house in order (and by "house" I mean your business). Get the car situation worked out, begin the new job, and turn it all over to your dad and let him deal with it. I know you said he's not the responsible type but if he's willing to step in and let it become his problem then let him. You don't have to walk away from your grandma, just her business. You can still go and see her and be a part of her life. You've done your part. It's time to let it go.
@pstegman Yes a friend of mine told me it's time to do that. Let him and the personal care home deal with it and just go to job corp or get teh job and then do that or something. I tried my best for a long time and I feel I just can't keep fighting for her if she is telling the staff and my dad something different. Thanks.
@Eyerishlass Yes he isn't nor is my uncle. But I think it is time to walk away and get myself together. Just swallow my pride and no longer worry or let someone else persuade me to do otherwise. I thank you for your support as well!

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