I believe this is slowly killing me!

Started by

The constant arguing and negativity dished out to me daily by my 89 year old mother is slowly killing me. I can see the change and depression in myself. Every single day is a battle with her. I here about all her ailments and her complaining constantly about being constipated.. She can have a bowel movement and then swear that it never happened. She is getting to be a terror to deal with. I try to do the right things with her care and it's a constant battle. I wish you people could see what I go through. My mother is the Jekyel/Hyde type.....she acts nice and quiet in front of others.....but is a terror around me. Now I can see why many caregivers die before the one they are caring for. Each day is living h*ll for me.

21 Comments

Get out of the caregiving role. Live your own life.
Roscoe is back must be six months since we had an update on Mom's bowels.
I second assandache
Here is an eyeroll for you Roscoe.
People tell us to get away from our parents, but leaving them in a nursing home sometimes is not an option. My parents go to an adult day,what a joke, they told me they would pick up at 7:30am and keep till 3pm, what a joke, they pick up at 8ish and drop off at 2ish,
Lori, don't take the abrupt answers to Roscoe to heart. This is not our normal compassionate response. Roscoe is a special case. He comes on every few months and pretends he wants advice but he really just wants to vent. We know that whatever we say he is going to argue against it, so it isn't worth saying the same things over and over.

Feel free to post your own story, concerns, and questions. We won't dismiss you abruptly!
What Jeanne said.
Agreed we are a compassionate lot (usually)
Roscoe, make sure you go to the doctor and get some antidepressants. There is no shame in getting help. I was depressed too and went to the doc. You'll feel a little better. Be nice to yourself, do some nice things for yourself once in a while (I had to learn that the hard way). Get her to go out and socialize with other people her age, like the senior center.
The best thing you can do for your loved one with dementia is to take care of yourself.
I am specializing in dementia care and would like to tell you there is unfortunately no cure yet , but lots of help.
The best is respite where you can bring your mom for a week or even for a weekend and get some break.
This information for someone looking dementia care in New Jersey.
I facilitate support group for dementia caregivers where we seat around the table and share our experiences and find answers how to take care of yourself and our loved ones with dementia.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support