Putting affairs in order after financial exploitation.

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My grandma was financially exploited by my sister and uncle. My uncle was taking money out through a debit card and writing checks to himself or for cash while my sister was going online with my grandma's info and getting numerous payday loans out that she would con my grandma into giving her the money through checks as well as getting money transferred to her account. My grandma, when shown the proof they were exploiting her, tells me she allowed it all even though it left her with no money to pay her bills. For four months and more, not a single household bill was getting paid. My grandma refuses to press charges. Has anyone dealt with this? How did you deal with the utility companies regarding past due accounts? Is there any hope they will go easy on her?


I would go against my grandma's wishes and contact APS. This was criminal behavior. Your grandmother may not want to press charges, but your sister and uncle need to squirm for what they've done. I don't know how some people sleep at night. I guess they have no conscience.
Thank you, JessieBelle. I actually did call APS in October of last year when my grandma told me that my sister was getting payday advance loans without her permission. They never did a thing. Since then, we have moved my grandma to our state and she is living with my brother. The amount of money that has gone to my sister's horses and my uncle's alcohol and gambling habits in the past few months have been ridiculous. The problem is that they see it as their right to take money from her. As we were moving her up here, my uncle even said straight out that he would take money from grandma whenever he wants. Even though I succeeded in getting him off her bank account, I still can't stop her from giving him her debit card or giving him money when she wants. He will come up with any excuse and she believes it. When I confronted her with a thousand dollar check that he wrote for cash with his signature on the bottom and on the back as the recipient, she made up a lie that he needed to give it to a girlfriend who was in trouble and the girl ended up stealing the money. Which is, I'm sure, what he told her. When I asked her why he would take his own mom's money to pay for his girlfriend, he had no answer. When my sister got my grandma to give her a $500 check, telling her it was for her dog's deposit, I got angry and told gma she should never have given it to her. My sister came over one night, and I confronted her in front of my gma that why was the dog still at my gma's house when the deposit had been paid, my sister told my gma to her face that she was a liar, that wasn't why she needed the money. My gma agreed, said she misunderstood, but when my sister left, she said "but she told me it was for the dog". My gma refuses to believe these people are financially exploiting her, and when she's confronted with the truth, she goes into hysterics that may make her have a stroke. I don't know what to do.
It sounds like you may need to get guardianship over your grandmother's money. I am sorry you are related to such people. I think these type of people are the reason that the concept of hell was invented if it doesn't really exist. It's hard to think that they might get by with such behavior for eternity. I hope you can get control on her money somehow and let them know the cash cow has dried up. I am probably as angry as you are just reading about them. I have a feeling they will disappear when it looks like there is no more money to be had.
I just read your message about guardianship in another thread. You must feel like leeches are all around you. I would consult an elder care attorney if you can find one that works pro bono. He/she may have some ideas about what you can do to stop the elder abuse.
Be very careful of the elder care attorney you choose. My situation was that two unethical attorneys in NJ took full control (both emotionally and financially) over my Italian-born mother with dementia and stole a good part of her money and estate. They successfully isolated her completely from her family. She died alone at weighing 70 pounds and falling out of her hospital bed without rails. I'm an only child with no other family other than my husband and three adult children, so in our case there was no family members trying to get at her money. Just these two terrible lawyers with no soul. And we received no help from the NJ Law Ethics Board or any other agencies because the lawyers know all the loopholes. Be careful

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