On my last nerve.

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So I am caregiver to Mom, 72. Mom has many serious health problems, non-compliant insulin dependent diabetic for over 20 years, hypoglycemic attacks, 3 Subdural hematoma bur hole surgery survivor, subsequent strokes, focal seizures, beginning stages of dementia. I could go on and on.

I have little to no assistance, except from her brother and my cousin. Two sister siblings, both wrapped up in their own special lives, living the dream. I am the youngest, I have fibromyalgia and suffer from my own health issues.

Today, Mom decided to play with the thermostat settings and now it is 81 F in this house. Can hear Air Conditioner is running, but whatever she did to the settings prevents the house from cooling down. It is SO hot in here and I am on my last nerve. Losing my sanity and my patience. Husband is away for weekend. Mom s roaming around house with her walker, in her underpants and she thinks everything is great. Can't understand why I am in such a bad mood. I have sent text to my sister and BIL who lives about 10 minutes away, but no answer or reply. They must be really busy I guess.

I am so mad right now. Not sure if I just need a shoulder to cry on or a HVAC mechanic. lol.


HVAC tech here: Go to the thermostat. Turn everything off. Wait five minutes.
Set the stat to COOL, Fan AUTO, temp 74 and HOLD. Let 'er rip.
Yeah, get the heat situation worked out first, then you'll be calm enough to face the rest.

Personally I think that heating and cooling systems sense the emotional atmosphere. I've lived all seven decades of my life in Minnesota and the furnance has ONLY malfunctioned when I had young children and my husband was out of town!
I completely understand how you feel. You've got to vent or you'll burst. Sometimes I just start writing it all down in order to let off steam.
Old people are always cold and us caregivers are sweating through hot flashes.
Early in his dementia my husband took to adjusting the thermostat A LOT. In a may I couldn't blame him -- it was something in his environment he could control. And I wouldn't have minded adjusting my clothing to suit his temperature preference. But he really couldn't see the adjusting dials very well, and he lost track of what he was trying to accomplish. I'd suddenly realize it was 94 degrees in the house -- in the winter! Just when I was ready to have a lock box installed over the thermostat he lost interest in that hobby. Whew! My brain cells short out at those temperatures (not to mention what thinking of heating costs does to my blood pressure), so I sympathize with you, squiggy!
We go through daily battles in the Thermostat War here. I've learned to compromise on the temperature, but couldn't stay if the house is too hot. I adjust the thermostat down 5-10 times a day. I do get upset when I come home to find a warm house, because the rabbits get uncomfortable and it cost more to cool a house from scratch than if it was kept at a certain temperature.

Something that is cute is when I turn the AC back on, one of my rabbits runs to the vent to feel the cool. Ah, relief! His hair blows in the breeze. Not getting too hot is important to all us creatures.
Just being honest, I feel the same you do sometimes! And not because of the heat or my dad, it’s the whole caregiving situation, it is a nerve wracking.
I appreciate your honesty. Caregiving is no picnic. Maybe re-evaluate if she can still stay with you.
OMG, I would be in a sour mood, too, if I was in a house with heat that high in the middle of summer.... my parents house is like that, it's like walking into a major hot flash :P

Do what Pam had suggested in the first answer above... also check the furnace filter, a clogged filter will play havoc with an air conditioner.
Thank you first and foremost to HVAC Tech! Your instructions worked like a charm and you saved the day, and my sanity! Thank you Thank you Thank you!

And thank you to everyone for your understanding and support during my rant!
I am in a much better humour now and Mother is no longer in her underpants! tee hee.
I really feel for you. I am so depressed that I have trouble doing anything. I feel like I will never be able to leave the house for more than an hour again. I feel trapped. I hate feeling like this as I love my mother soo much. Most of you out there seem to have it totally together. You feel like you are doing Gods work. Why can't I feel that. I have been very afraid to express these feelings for fear that some of you will think I am an awful person. I feel like I am an awful person and pray everyday for the patience and strength to get through yet another day. Thank you for letting me speak.

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