Moving back into dysfunction.

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I had to move back in with my dysfunctional parents who are in their 70's. My dad us passive aggresive. My mother is a manipulative, control freak, verbally abusive bully. She goes from being nice to psycho in a second and vice versa. Living with them was hell the first time around. I lost my job and then my house and had to move in with them and my pets. She likes to tell me how I will never move out again and I need to acceot it. She convinced my brother who is as mentally unstable as her to leave his full time job and move in with them to work part time. She is big on triangulation and pitting us against each other. I avoid her as much as I can. For the past month or so she is on this new kick of demanding hugs from me and her jerk son. I got out of it last night. I want nothing to do with her as she bullies me and verbally abuses me constantly. I cannot afford to get out if here. I blocked her emails years ago because she sent nasty emails. I blocked her phone number so she can only leave a message. I am only grateful that I am able to keep my pets as I consider them more of a family then my actual family. She also tries to convince me I am my brother have some kind of mental disorder. My therapist say I dont. Her and my brother may be bipolar. I dont know what they have. He randomly will become hostile to be and ignore me for no reason. I was told I am not allowedin the kitchen when he is in there it upsets him too much. I feel like I am in prison and reliving my childhood hell. She has also gone through my boxes several times and taken stuff out and aslo just taken stuff as I find it in other parts of their house. My dad does nothing when she screams and yells at me. Even when I did have a house she would come out and take it over and treat me like dirt. When I move I wont tell them where I move to and I plan on putting my house in a land trust so my name isnt attached. But she will.probably hire a private investigator to find me. She has noboundaries. I only say that about a private investigator based on past experience. I am really stressed out and frustrated and just want to get out of here and cut them out of my life. I cant find a fulltime job to do it. I save every little bit I can from my part time job. They dont even know I have a part time job, if they did they would demand I give them money. My dad goes along with whatever, she says as he has been whipped over the years. I dont know what to do, I am not living, I am just surviving looking for an escape. When I do move out if I an I am basically sneaking moving out to avoid her drama of saying really nasty stuff and trying to say I am taking any of her stuff and who knows what else. I am constantly battling daily depression here and feel hopeless and paralyzed. Everything feels like so much effort having to deal with this again. She has had cancer but its gone. She has always screwed with me mentally and now she uses cancer as a way to try to manipulate me saying she is dying it will come back. Demanding I give my brother a hug to break his cycle of hostility towards me before she dies. That jerk can deal with his own hostile issues towards me on his own. I cant deal with their inconsistent behavior towards me being nice one second then mean the next.


I commend you on being open and honest and for realizing and stating the problems you live with..I am sorry that I don't have advice to give, but am writing to you just to give you encouragement an express my empathy.
Try getting a job as a live-in caregiver for someone sane. The lady who lives in our in-law suite had no place to go other than relatives where there was dysfunction. She had recently divorced and lost most everything. My mother's live-in companion gives us 25 hours a week, taking care of Mother - doing her laundry & bedding and keeping her room and bathroom clean. We pay her $250 and furnish all of her food, utilities and a small apartment in our home, but we really live mostly like a family eating our meals and sharing kitchen chores together, laughing and having a good time.
Molly, I cannot offer any advice, either. All I can say is I know how it is to be stuck in an undesirable situation with no foreseeable way out. I feel for you & I care.
Molly, keep saving your money and look for fulltime work. You are living in an unhealthy environment. Glad you are in therapy. In the meantime, keep your distance. You do not want to bite the hand that feeds you.
nearly every story i read on here about someone being down and out evolves around a menagerie of pets that are always emphasized as a highest priority . im not a hateful person but i dont tiptoe around the obvious either . your feeding the equivalent of three people before the bills even get paid .
My case isn't as extreme, but it is the light version of yours. Meds help, and just keep planning on your escape. Honestly I think about people who have been wrongly imprisoned and how they survive. It is possible, but you must have a strong self, and since you are aware of the dysfunction, you do have a strong self. Be strong, keep planning the escape and try to only think about the positive and see this experience as an exercise on how to keep sanity in an insane circumstance.
Oh my goodness Captain, let me give you an attaboy! I love animals but I have seen how much my girls little dogs(whom they adopted while in college on my tab without asking me) cost them and the trouble they create. One bites men, one pees a lot, they are all barkers (heck they are chi's) and when the girls go anywhere, they have to hire someone to come take care of them.

Only one of my girls has given away her pet (a kitty) to a good home. Why? She, her husband and baby moved across the country and she just had different priorities.

I love animals and there are agencies who will help you with their care and food. But people need to consider their financial situation before adopting pet. Vets are expensive now days.
So what is your question? You never say and just vent about your situation. Since it is so bad try to get some help to move out and then do not allow your family access to you, no matter what. If someone came to my house and I did not want them there, I would call the police and charge them with trespassing.
There is really only one solution to your situation and that is to get a job and move out. In your situation I would be glad that I had my parents to fall back on while I got back on my feet. I'm sorry the situation is not better there, but it does give you the opportunity to get back to work and on your own again. I would say to make the most of it. Let the anger go. It will eat you up.
Know that this situation will not last forever, it is a temporary measure. Please do not get pulled into this trap any further. Try to distance your emotions for now and get to the business of removing yourself. You can heal from this.

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