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Well they finally did it. I know there is no one as bad as these two. Father in Law is an angry, bitter man that has a horrendous temper- kicks mother in law, calls her stupid. They yell and argue daily but refuse to be separated. She has Alzheimer's and accuses him of running around with dark haired woman between age 11 and up depending on the day, and calls non stop to threaten us with calling the police on us for random ridiculous things. The Nursing home has had enough. Now we start the search all over. I threw up from stress today.

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Take the phone away. Just pick it up and pocket it. Tell the staff so they aren't looking for it. When she complains just tell her she must have left it someplace. Maybe it would be a good idea to put them in separate homes or separate halls.
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Doctors who are not psychiatrist may be limited in their desire or ability to prescribe some medications. That's why a geriatric psychiatrist may be called for.
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I agree that they have and still do need psych meds. The Dr. at their current nh doesn't like to give them . I asked 5 times and was told no. I looked him up on Yelp and he has tons of complaints for this very thing. I'm hoping the next place has a prescribing Dr. that actually cares for the patients wellbeing rather than his own philosophy .
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If their behavior remains the same, then you may be looking for yet another facility soon. I'd try to treat their turmoil. Mental anguish is just as painful as physical pain. I'd have them evaluated for psychiatric reasons pronto. I'd explore medication and any other recommendations, like having them live separately.
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I agree with Barb. Sounds like a geriatric, psychiatric assessment for both of them, in patient, in different locations is in order.

My mom was kicked out of memory care, transferred to a smaller care home, which seemed to be better for her. She passed after five months there. Perhaps that was the cause of her behavior, steep decline, when in memory care. It was a hospice organization that found the appropriate placement for mom.

It sounds like mom and dad should not be together, it is time for someone else to take control of this situation. They cannot get along, so they need to be apart for at least awhile to see if they can be stabilized with meds.
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Can you get them both admitted to a psych facility to see if meds will help?

The facility social worker should be able to help with this.
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So sorry, Sorry!

This was one of my top fears/nightmares. My mother did her damnest to get kick out of the nursing home her first month. Thank God it never happened and the home was exceedingly and endlessly patient.

What finally turned it around? A trip the the geriatric psychiatrist. He got mom on all the right meds - took her off the wrong ones and she was a back to just being mildly unpleasant- like the good "ole days. Is this an option?
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I'm sorry - that is so hard. Can they live separately - would that help?
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