Feeling nervous/anxious for parent going into placement.

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So my father is entering a "lifecare retirement community" in the nursing care unit, other areas are more for independent/assisted living, it's not called a "nursing home" but it's all the same I guess, there are less residents than your average NH but overall, still feeling anxious & nervous about this next step, he suffers from alzheimers & parkinsons, it fluctuates between knowing his surroundings and not knowing where he is, i'm sure you all know what I am talking about, my mother who recently passed away never wanted this for him, but the options are limited at this point and the funding to keep him home has been difficult, majority of siblings are ok w/ this decision, of course I will be visiting/calling often, etc......but still feeling crazy about this plan, hoping it will be easier for him if he doesn't realize what's going on? any advice to ease the pain that I feel for him?


I am going to beg you to get anxiety medicines for yourself, because if you go there weeping it will really set him off. Do NOT visit until he has settled in. Call the nurses station to check on his progress, ask IF he is ready for visitors. If you are there every day, he will not make progress.
UP, did your mom ever tour one of these facilities? Which are like cruise ships? As Pam says, let Dad settle into his new routine and please try to understand that you may be projecting your anxieties onto him.

This has been a difficult passage for you, what with the sibling drama and your mom's passing. And now dad going to a facility.

Time to take care of yourself. A couple of therapy sessions would be a good investment in your own future.
I agree with pam. Don't let on how you are feeling cause even though he has alzheimers he will pick up on your anxiety.

Its never easy taking this step. Trust me I know. But where my mom is now she is getting the care I know myself and my siblings could not provide for her. Just know you are doing the right thing.
thanks, my mother did not visit these facilities but knew of them, she just always talked about wanting him at home (in his final days), the thought was always that he would pass away before her (she was younger), but that wasn't God's plan I guess, I definitely agree about not projecting my anxiety onto him, I am calm and supportive around him, I cry after I leave....
also, it didn't help when I heard that his room had to be changed after one night because the room-mate was complaining about him talking too much and they feared for my father's safety....!!
Not in home but facility

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