Changes in the type of caregiving and starting over.

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I notice several different "types" of caregivers. The Professionals (God bless THOSE special people) The 24/7 live in daughters/sons.....
The children with loved ones in nursing homes, AL, or living in separate homes, and the ones with professionals in there own homes doing the brunt of the physical work. There are probably other situations as well but these are the types Iv'e read about most here. God bless us all, because each situation is difficult at best and hell at it's worst.

I have just switched from 24/7 in my home, to Mom in nursing home, with me as primary visitor/communicator/ advocate and guardian. The NH is temporary and in a few months I will change again to having professional help but still overseeing her care. I just want to be her companion, best friend and daughter. I like how Capt says "life partner".

The 24/7 thing did not end well. As most of you know I had a massive heart attack and was diagnosed with diabetes. I am slowly getting my physical strength back and am looking at this time that she is away as time to take care of myself, not just physically but mentally and emotionally too.

I came here a naive virgin and am now a tired veteran. You people helped my through that first, and in my opinion, hardest stage of care giving. I know some of you (pam lol) will think I'm crazy to continue this journey, and others (bob) will understand my intentions. God/life led me here for a reason and I can not and will not break promises I've made.

I've been quiet here lately but I think I'm going to need plenty of new advice for the new care-giving types that I have moved on to.

I love and admire so many of you kind strangers. Thanks for listening and always being here.


Boni I admire you and what you posted was great. I am glad your getting better and look forward to receiving some good advice from you. Hugs
Boni give yourself plenty of time to get better. Once you have had the kind of major illness you experienced you will find it takes far longer than you expect especially as the years creep up.
As long as Mom is content in the N/H and the care is good don't be in too much of a rush to bring her home.
Having a professional in the home 24/7 will certainly be different but with the right help it will be good for both you and Mom.
I have not had the kind of life changing experience you have had but i have severe O/A and rheumatic heart disease and an as yet undiagnosed weakness and fatigue. i am having to rethink all my activities ang give up some of my regular pastimes and plan to allow others to help more.
It is very hard to accept that you are no longer Mom's primary caregiver but once she is home again that professional will give you a lot of security as well. Mom needs you to stick around for her so taking care of yourself is job #1
Glad you have the financial security in place so that stressor is taken care off.
I have to admit I am enjoying the peace and quiet while Mom is in NH. I think it's easier to deal with, knowing it's temporary. I Go to see her 4 days a week, and talk to her on the phone 2-3 times a day. I know she's not getting the same attention I give her, but I know she's safe, and it's forcing the other siblings to see her more.
Sorry Capt, "Domestic Partner". Lol.
i hated to see aunt edna go to nh too but she actually has more of a life there than she did in IL . they caught a blood clot situation in one of her legs a couple weeks ago that i would have never caught . might have saved her from a bad stroke by treating it promptly . i also see people in nh who arent well tended to . they dont seem to have family in there advocating for them . family visits are still important to the patient and if nh knows your paying attention theyll take better care of your LO ..
Sometimes we need to take off our Superman capes before it kills us. I know I am so grateful I found this website to help me explore what might be next for my aging parents. And to help me know which path to take, to help me keep my own energy to help my parents further along on their final chapter or two.

Boni, so glad to read that you are recovering and that your Mom is getting good care in her new home. Take this time to breath.

Veronica, I am finding myself having to give up my hobbies and past-times, too, such as landscaping/yard work which I had truly loved doing, it had been a delightful escape for me.... for the first time ever I paid a landscaper to bring in his crew to clean up my very much abandoned yard and they did an outstanding job, I should have done this years ago as I was fretting so much about not being able to get out into the yard to work.... it was adding to my stress.
a carer who lives with the parent has their own brand of uncertainty about your own future . i stayed at my moms house for 6 years and it was unsettling in the respect you always know its a temporary arrangement . it felt like an extended camping trip .
when your life does resume , and it does , i think you will have squared back shoulders and plenty of self confidence to take the world on again . its like the end of life elder care you experienced makes you a stronger and more decisive person . ill come right up close to saying that your sanity returns too but im not 100% sure yet .
Bob, I want to second your endorsement oh nh care for our elders in poor health. Pneumonia, heart issues, nh catches them all. Yesterday it was a cyst that developed overnight on my mom's shoulder that needed to get excised packed and dressed.

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