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My father had a stroke. My ex husband who has a drug record has gained power of attorney and now owns half my dads house. I feel that my father isn't in good hands with him , I am now being told to stay away from my father. I am an only child so I am totally stressed and confused how this all happened. Can I reverse this power of attorney and if so how long will it take?..I was not prepared or forwarned for this.is that normal and is that legal for my ex to take half the house..my dad is in diapers..slurred speach and very hazzy memories..and has been robbed literally by my ex husbands aquaitances..isn't this soe kind of fraud..elderally something????.

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If your friend is of sound mind and understands that he can execute a new POA, and knows the ramifications thereof, yes, he can do that, while also revoking the existing one. He can replace the second wife with someone who he chooses.

As to elder abuse, I assume you mean that 2d wife has placed him there against his will? This would depend on a lot of factors, including whether your friend has other medical issues, could live on his own in a home, and case law interpretation of what constitutes elder abuse, in your state and on a federal level.

The case law issue on interpretation and application of elder abuse is something an attorney would have to research.

As to your getting him out of the facility, offhand I think the best thing you can do is arrange for him to see an attorney and revoke the existing POA.

There's another unspoken issue and that is how and who is paying for his stay in the care facility. Is 2d wife doing so out of your friends' funds?
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have a close friend 74, he fell down and hit his head, had surgery and is in a 24/7 care facility, he is sound mind, a little slow, but talks and walks, wants to go home, his 2nd wife has a POA, and does not want to ever bring him home to re-cooperate, she travels all the time, leaving him to rot in the facility, is there any way to reverse the POA and have him assign a new POA that cares about him? is this consider elder abuse? and can we do anything to get him out of there??
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I have a serious problem now I revoked a PoA from my brother and he will not sign a nursing home care application for her.
Is there any urgent advice to revoke the POA to his name as I tried to revoke to my name but was taken for aride by a BARRISTER who did not explain the procedure nor did he do the process correctly and took a lot of funds from me.
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I have just heard that my son's 93 yr., ol grandfather, living in another city but same state, has sometime in the past year of two, has signed full PoA to his step grandson. After selling their paid for home, they moved the wife into the home with her son, and my son's grandfather has placed in an apartment with no home health care service or anything. Recently his wife died, he was not even taken to the funeral or allowed to visit her in the past 18 months that she was living with her son. I have heard that the step grandson and his wife will go over and take the grandfather food. I am not sure when or how this step grandson got the PoA since the grandfather has a living son, daughter and grandson in the picture. When his wife died, they did not even let us know. I found out by searching the obits in their town. I think the grandfather needs to be in an assisted living or something but, I have no idea where to begin. I know the grandfather "had" property ( land, etc. ) and lots of vehicles, etc. But, where they are now,.. no telling! In the meantime, I am sure that the step grandson is just spending all he can of their estate. How do you handle something like that? Living so far away, it is difficult for us to actually gather evidence.
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Only your dad can change the POA. Would he add someone? Is he competent in the sense that he would understand what it means to authorize someone to act on his behalf on financial and legal transactions? If so, help him change the POA. Sister has no say in the matter. It is entirely and completely up to Father.

You sister has no legal requirement to keep you in the loop on financial transactions. But if all is above-board, why wouldn't she be happy to explain why Dad took out a loan and the current state of his estate? Try to work with her first.

If Dad won't change the POA and Sister won't cooperate about sharing information, then you are facing a difficult choice. If you think she is, in effect, stealing your father's money, you can report it to Adult Protective Services, and they'll investigate.

Sorry that you are going through this.
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my dad was diagnosed with alzheimers about two years ago. He lived athome with my to 2 brothers and on july 10 of 2012 he left home and walked the streets for 3 days and 2 nights and could not find his way home by the grace of god the police found him and he was placed in a very nice alzheimers unit my sister got a poa and told none of the rest of the family and now refuses to add anybody else on the poa and their is six of us. she is not finacialy stable and we think shes spending my fathers money. we already found out she obtained a loan that my father signed for recently and she refuses to give us any documentation about his finances. I really need some guidance on what to do to get another person on the poa so she cant continue to spend as she pleases
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Oh I forgot to add that my mother's care giver is on food stamps, free health care and now free property to live in.
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I think that the whole situation sounds pretty dysfunctional, but perhaps you can work with it harmoniously.

How often are you used to seeing your mom? Do you typically drop in every couple of days? Once a week? Can you present the caregiver with a schedule of your visits? (Tuesdays and Wednesdays, around 4pm, and Saturdays 10 am, for example.) And then call her when there are "extra" visits. A few days ahead? Ridiculous! I can see why dropping in unannounced might be unnerving but why on earth couldn't you call at 9 am and be there at 11?

In any case, I think I'd try to build a cordial relationship with the caregiver, whether the situation is fair or not. Your real goal is to see your mother, right? Not to fix all the injustices of the situation.
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My brother is POA of my mother. He did not want her in a nursing home so she is at home with 24 hour care. The woman that took care of her is now moving into the property with her husband and four kids. I was told we now have to give notice when we would like to see my mom, at least a few days. My mom had a stroke and is nonverbal. I do not think this is a good idea at all. I told my brother I would move in with my mom but he said no. Crazy thing is I'm a nurse and work in an alzheimers unit.
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My question is how can my exs mother have her son sign the will and make her poa when he cant remember anything you say to him 5 min later. My ex is still in the hospital and his mom went today to have him sign the will. Is this legal? Should i get a lawyer? Do i have any rights as an ex wife with kids with him? Thanks
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My x husband had a bad stroke and has to be put in a 24 hr care facilty. My oldest son 26 wants his dadto live by him and my exs mother is putting him in a home by her. That is a 5 hr drive. She just gave my x papers to sign for he to be poa and he cant remember if you ask him a question 5 min later forgets what you said, how can he sign papers giving her poa? Is ther any rigts i have as an ex wife to get poa or my oldest son? Please help. The stroke affected his whole brain and he only moves his right arm. If you ask him when he was born he says 2012 and really it was 1963. My kids and i want him in a home by us not 5 hrs away
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I am very aware of these types of POA situations because I am Court-Appointed Guardian for an elderly Ward. My Ward has no living parents, never married, has no children and appointed her childhood best friend as her POA. Unfortunately, when she needed her POA to step in, the POA was in a Nursing Home unable to take care of herself any longer. All states have Guardianship programs, however, the particulars of a Guardianship can vary state to state. Understandably, this is truly the most restrictive scenario for resolutions of these problems. Anyone can petition for Guardianship through an Attorney. (There are some attorneys that specialize in Guardianships). The attorney will initiate the process that will culminate in a hearing presided over by a judge. In this case a judge will decide if the petitioner, you, or the person presently taking care of your father, your ex-husband, is the most legally responsible party to be in charge of your father. However, if this process is pursued it might be neither of you would be appointed. Sometimes it really does take a serious examination by a non-partisan person (like a judge) to place the right person in charge of a loved one.
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Good point about the estate attorney vs. an elder attorney. I suggested an estate attorney because they are the ones who generally draw up POAs. But the way, I too wonder why the ex-husband has the POA. My only guess is that many elders still think a man should do this, and he was the only man available. They had no clue the marriage would fall apart, so they thought him the best choice.

An Elder Attorney may, indeed, be a better choice here. Which ever you choose, get some references if you can (since this is private stuff, they may not be able to give out names, but ask around and you may get word-of-mouth help). Check credentials. Check with your state. Make sure this person isn't going to make matters worse for you or over-charge for the services. Your state bar association should be able to help with the credential part and may even have some kind of fee-sechdule.
Carol
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I completely agree with EZCARE. Something is not right. I am an only child and have POA for my mother. It was not easy getting POA, as my mother had to demonstrate that she understood giving me POA meant I could get house etc without her approval. She also had to demonstrate that she was in her "right mind".

I cannot imagine an attorney granted a POA to an ex-husband, if they knew there is an only daughter. Either 1) attorney was lied to 2) attorney is deceptive 3) there is no attorney and it is a fake document.

Suggest you immediately do 3 things - 1) contact the attorney who issued the POA and find out the circumstances 2) contact the police to inform them you think something criminal is going on 3) contact social services in your community and see if they will investigate your father's condition to see if he is "mentally sound" and his "physical care" is proper. You may need these reviews to counter the POA - if indeed it is legal.

Good luck.
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Sonya,
I smell a rat! Since this is YOUR father, how did your EX-HUSBAND manage to get POA in the first place? Did you see the originalpaperwork yourself (this is a legal document and usually requires some kind of certification or seal from a state government authority. You must see the original--not a copy) If you did not see the document and your EX refuses to show it to you, then I would skip the attorney part and go directly to the police. And even if he has such a document, find out who certified it. Go to that person and tell them exactly what you have related here. They may be able to revoke it because you are a blood relative--you EX is not. If none of this works then you do need an attorney but make sure you find one who is experienced in elder law--not just estate matters. This would only be an Estate issue if one of your siblings had the POA or if you you were not divorced and you shared POA with your husband. Act FAST because the longer you let this go the more your EX gains in legal standing and the harder it will be to revoke the POA. Also investigate gaining Guardianship for your father. That will not save the house but will allow you to call the police if you suspect your father is being abused by your ex husbands acquaintances or anyone else in his house.
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We had to get POA back from one of my brothers who was taking all our moms money.We had a attorney send him a letter stating that we would take him to court. It worked. But your case might not be so easy.Get help as soon as you can. I hope you the best of luck. I have heard and an elder attorney is best in these cases but any attorney is better than now.
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I noticed in recent replies to questions to ' see an estate attorney'.

Some people recommend working with an estate planning attorney, while others recommend a working with an Elder lawyer. What exactly is the difference between the two types of attorneys?
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Please see an estate attorney right away. You will need legal help to do this, but you sound right in your intentions. There's no way you can do this alone.

Please let us know how you do.

Take care,
Carol
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