Being the enemy.
Yep, apparently I now am the enemy. I know it's not her fault, I know it's the progression of the disease but still... just how hurtful can they get? My mother is now telling people that I hit her and threaten her. I just cringe when she starts this... I've told her many times how hurtful it is to me but that seems to just fuel her fire. it's like the more she knows something bothers me, the more she'll do it. She will even make screaming noises if I'm on the phone talking to a friend, so they'll think I'm hurting her. Right mom, I'm talking to a friend and tying you up at the same time. I CRINGE!! Scarily enough, she's threatened to grab the steering wheel and plunge us off the road because she was mad that I didn't tell her where we were going, uhm yes I did, 47 times, she forgets!!! ahhhh
Yesterday was a nightmare...I rescued an adult dog a few weeks ago. This dog doesn't seem to like chickens and I had a back yard rooster. I kept them apart so the dog wouldn't eat my chicken. I'd asked and asked my mom to not open the back door, she knew what would happen. She did it anyway just as soon as I turned my back. She sneaked over and let the dog out. All hell broke lose. I will never get it out of my sight... again, I know it is not her fault, but WHY?
I ended up calling my brothers to come get her, I'd had enough for the day. Of course once they get here, it's all my fault. I need to learn how to "shut it out" or learn how to manipulate her to do things. I get how easy it is for them to stop by occasionally and be the hero, but I can't do it/ 24/7. Oh yeah, that's my fault too because I don't hire someone to sit with her so I can have a few precious hours away from the house. They don't work in the winter, my oldest brothers wife hasn't worked in years, but because she doesn't like me, she won't have mom over to her house. All 3 of my brothers love to sit around and comment about me and what I do. Sad when you have to delete your own brothers from your FB page so they can't talk about you. Even worse, delete them so you can't see all the fun things they go do while I sit here with mom.
I can't be angry at her (can I)? I should have put the child proof cap back on the door, but knowing what would happen, I would have thought she wouldn't go ahead and do it... so much for my thinking. I just want to crawl in a hole and hide, but... I've got to pick up 8,000 feathers :(