I give up on my siblings!

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This January 10th will be 5 years since my dad passed. I was helping care for my mom along with two siblings. There are 5 siblings all together, but one just passed away and the other was caught stealing thousands of dollars from my parents while my father was dying. I was working part time and driving 50 minutes twice a week to take my mom shopping, the bank, hairdressers, doctors and out to eat. The two siblings who both lived 20 minutes from my mom would come about every other Saturday for a while, then it got to be every three weekends, then once a month. The house next to me came up for sale about a year after my dad passed and my mom bought it. My sister's were relived that my mom would have someone close. They promised to help out. They now live 40 minutes away. One sibling came once and soon after there was a family fight and we haven't seen her in over 3 years. The other sibling started to come about once a month, now it's every 3 months. My mom is 77 years old, has COPD and emphysema, she is on oxygen 24/7. She never drove or made friends. I do everything for her, I go see her every night and bring her dinner, I sit with her for an hour during that time. I take her food shopping or shop for her, take her to doctors, banking, hairdresser. I fix things around her house and so dies my husband. At first I asked my siblings for help then I groveled, then I begged and lastly got mad. They told me I moved my mom here and I should take care if her. I've heard every excuse in the book too. We don't speak now and that's ok because I finally gave up. I was making myself sick over it. I feel better for doing this and hope karma kicks their butts one day. To those going through what I have gone through, give up because there is no reasoning with these people. They always have excuses and somehow believe they are right. Don't make yourselves sick over it.


Sometimes I wonder if siblings disappear because they feel a parent should be in a continuing care facility, not in a sibling's home, because they have read or seen how exhausting it can be caring for a parent.... the parent is getting older, more frail, more issues... and the Caregiver is getting older, too.
I think you have done the reasonable thing. Don't expect help from them. It is clear that you will not get it.

That doesn't mean you don't need help. Does Mom have any paid in-home help now? That would be a less emotionally draining approach than trying to involve your siblings.
yea , one person doesnt step up sally . 4 people step back. my sis lasted about ten minutes with mom , started running the roads all day . niece lasted about 6 weeks , said it was just too much sacrifice . then we didnt see either for about 7 more months . neither work and as evidenced by their actions , arent going to .. i think they wanted to see us crash and burn . thats pretty perverse but i think its the case.. theyre jellin like a bunch of felons out there in moms house now .
i agree sally , i never let it bother me and in fact didnt miss their lameness ..
I just hope that you are being left more money! The sister that was caught stealing, did she get the money? One of my sisters lives 20 minutes away from our folks and visits our parents about 2 or 3 times a YEAR, (holidays). She calls them every few months. Barely gives them the time of day. She does not work, as her days are wide-open, so she clearly has the time. Siblings that do not help should do the honorable thing and visit their parents and help their siblings!
The sister who took the money has been taken out of the will. The will states she got her share while my mom was alive.lol
Btw, I am not religious, but Honor thy father and mother does not apply in too many cases!

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