How do I deal with my mothers constant non-stop complaining?
My mother has always been a "complainer" and wears her heart on her sleeve. Every ache, pain and disappointment has been articulated throughout her lifetime. Since she has truly become more frail and has a range of medical issues, the complaining is non-stop, 24/7. From morning to night I hear a litany of complaints that start with her neck, back, stomach - virtually every part of her body and bodily function. She is on dialysis and most certainly has some serious issues and I don't expect her to suffer silently. But the constant complaints have left me depressed, weary and, often quite angry with her. When we are with others, she behaves quite differently and, in fact, at a recent family gathering, I was told by several people how "well" she appeared to be doing! When it is the two of us, as it often is, the complaints do not stop, nor do the grunts, groans and moans. I have tried to speak to her about this but she tells me that she is old and sick and "entitled" to complain. I have seen people with terminal diagnoses with a more positive and pleasant attitude. I know she is not going to change at 85 years old but how can I cope with this continual barrage of misery? She sees a psychiatrist regularly and is on anti-depressants. She refuses to consider an outside caregiver or assisted living. I feel abused and defeated....and dread old age because of what I hear all day.