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My husband and I have battles and I know one of us could get hurt, and I would be to blame because he has Alzheimer's. Lately he refuses to let me do anything: bathe him, change adult incontinence pads, etc, and giving him his sedative is difficult and it doesn't seem to calm him anymore; I have tried everything I know to let him have some quality to his life but he fights every step. He cannot talk, and I don't think he can understand what I'm trying to tell him, so he just yells, tries to hit, push, etc. I will push him onto a bed or chair just to protect myself. No outside care has worked as he does this to others too; at a recent week of respite he gave everyone a hard time and they told me they didn't know how I coped with him day after day. I think he may have bed sores now, from laying long hours in wet clothes, but he won't let me check it out, clean or do anything. I don't think he has less than 6 months to live, but I do wonder if he is in the last stages of AD and should I call Hospice. I am losing my ability to love him and feel burned out.

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I posted before as a neighbour was at this stage with her husband when she couldnt do it anymore (ten years) Hes been in a great NH for a year now and hes content has clamed down total memory loss but in good health hes 88! The wife looks well and happy she visits everyday shes a changed woman since I saw her last year the stress was too much for her.
So yes its definetly time for you I know its hard but you cant live like this as ive said before this woman had ALL her kids helping out everyday and still couldnt cope as his aggression became worse.
Let us know how you get on but please look after yourself! Hugs.
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If you love your husband you have to do what will keep him safe and well cared for. It will be hard for you but you have done the best you can and now it is time to let others carry the load. You can still spend a lot of time with him and once he has the appropriate medications even take him out if staff think it is safe. Don't feel guilty. Rather see it as a loving decision to save him from further harm.
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To top off all the other advice, you could potentially be in trouble for not providing care and the resulting complications, even though it is his behavior that makes you unable. It is possible some kind of medical evaluation or traetment might change the situation, but as it is this sounds way too hard to manage at home. I sure feel for you, this is just awful for you both.
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Contact a hospice agency. Too many people wait too long to do this. Hospice is not just for "deathbed" issues anymore. They are there to help. I know. We decided we had to move my Dad, contacted the nursing home we wanted him to go to, and were immediately put in touch with a hospice agency to see what they could do regarding respite care, etc. It took one visit from the hospice nurse, along with the paperwork needed from his doctor, and he was admitted to their care, which he currently is receiving at the nursing home along with care from the nursing home staff. You can't go wrong by contacting them. The only thing they can do is say yes, he's ready for some type of care, or no, we can't take him yet. I know its a hard choice to make. It has been three weeks since we moved Dad and my Mom is still trying to come to grips with it. It sounds like your husband needs to be taken care of by professionals. Please take that first step for both him and yourself!
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definitely contact hospice
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As I was reading what you wrote I thought the same thing that the previous 2 people above me wrote. If your husband can no longer communicate and is becoming combative to the point where you have to physically push him away from you it's probably time to look into an alternative living arrangement for him. I can't imagine what a difficult decision that would be for you. I cared for my father, not a husband, so the dynamic was very different. Your post is titled, "What should I do?" I think you should place your husband in a residential memory care unit. But it's easier said than done, I know.
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Less than a week ago, you posted that the doctor said it was time for your husband to be placed in a facility. If you aren't able to assist him in toileting and can't check for (and treat) bedsores - it is MORE than time for the professionals to take over. Trust me the guilt over placing him in a facility is far less than the anguish of seeing those bedsores and the treatment for them. Call the Doctor today and begin the process. Take a deep breath. We only have so many hours on this earth. Your husband now needs professional care. It's ok to do this. AND it is time!
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Do you think it is time to entrust his care to professional caregivers?
You also have aright to a life. In his right mind would he want you to be going through this? What would he have said?
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