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So this is going to be too long, I'm sure, but please just bear with me, PLEASE. My Dad went into the VA hospital on January 28th of this year, for sepsis, he was finally discharged in June. After being diagnosed with depression, PTSD (Vietnam), Ischemic heart disease, as well as an enlarged prostate (non cancerous) that has caused him to be permanently catheterized. We found out after admittance in January that the sepsis was caused by kidney stones so large they actually cut off the urine flow & cut into the kidney wall & made his kidney swell up 2 times it's normal size. He had drains inserted, directly into his kidneys via his back...2 surgeries to remove the stones & remaining fluids & an additional 2 surgeries to remove the tubes.


In the meantime the moderate confusion he was experiencing before the admittance has turned into full blown dementia. He also had a triple bypass surgery due to the Ischemic HD. During the 6 months in the hospital we have done nothing but fight UTI's & or Urosepsis. He actually has E. Coli constantly in his kidneys & or urethea. He's so weak that he cannot even begin to walk or do the PT required to get "well". For all intents and purposes he has not walked since January 28th. He literally just has come home (today in fact) from a second stint in a regular hospital, where he was diagnosed with Failure to Thrive. He requested Hospice himself, in a very rare & lucid moment and was granted it due to his declining health as well as his most recent diagnosis. As I said before, we just got home today & he's already showing signs of Urosepsis again...this is about the 10th time we have treated it. So my question is....Is it time to ask that they not treat it again...he has said he doesn't want anymore treatments or hospitals. Would this even be legal to request no meds? We're just not sure what to do next?! And the suffering he's been through has us all completely overwhelmed, exhausted and heartbroken. Any thoughts?!

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I am so sorry that this journey has been such a brutal one. Honor dads wish for hospice and what that means.

Use what hospice has to offer for your dad and the family and for yourself, it will help you so very much. Do not feel like a burden to them, use them for any questions, concerns, supplies, whatever you need. Hugs to you!

Tell your dad that I said, "Sir, I thank you for your service, I live in a free country because of men like you! God bless you for all you sacrificed to serve your country when they called. " Then give him a big hug.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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anonymous828894 Aug 15, 2018
Thank you so much for your very kind words. I will tell him. He's a wonderful man & we love him very much, but he's suffering so... I appreciate you taking the time to read my question and respond. Blessings to you and your family. *Hugs*
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I think his request for hospice should be honored. There are different kinds of hospice care, so you may be able to choose among them to find the one that will work best for his needs.
You might want to try Veteran’s Affairs or a local Office of the Aging to talk to social services and figure out what will be best for him and his family as he enters hospice care.
Blessing to him and his family.
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anonymous828894 Aug 15, 2018
Thank you so much for your time and consideration. I appreciate your response. Blessings to you and your family as well!
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Has he been accepted to hospice? How to treat, if on hospice, is something hospice workers will help you decide based on dad's condition and prognosis. Hospice will not treat the infection if the meds are considered life extending.
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anonymous828894 Aug 14, 2018
Yes, he has been accepted by hospice. There not expecting him to get any better. Thank you for taking the time to answer me. You're very much appreciated!
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