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My brother has passed away unexpectedly. I have been quoted $4000-5000 then $2500 now $1800. He is in central NJ Ocean County. All I want are basic services and prayer cards. Thank you in advance.

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[[[[[hugs]]]]] May the memory of your brother be a blessing to you.
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Oh, Shane. I am sorry.

A friend of my parents said about my father's sudden, unexpected death: "better for him, worse for you."

Your brother was spared what you most dreaded but you must feel flattened. Just hugs. Will you be at the crematorium, and will anyone be with you?
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Shane1124 Jun 2019
Yes, my husband. Thank goodness. I am in NJ now working all this through and it’s emotionally draining. A comfort was all the great stories about my brother’s kindness towards his neighbors. This warms my heart.
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Thank you everyone, all your information was so helpful.

My 71 y/o brother was found Saturday deceased in his bathroom. He had been dead for over a week or more. He & I texted and talked weekly but it wasn’t unusual for us to go 2-3 weeks without connecting.

This time I had been calling & texting him & hadn’t heard back since May 18 so I asked his building mgr to check on him for me and “tell him to call his sister”. He went & found him dead.


Yes this was the only family member I actually cared about.

My brother had schizophrenia and refused to see any psychiatrist nor any regular MD for treatment for hypertension, etc. There were times I visited him where he had such swollen legs I would offer to just take him to urgent care for a water pill. Took me years to get him to go get glasses when he told me he couldn’t see the road signs. But he never ever listened to me. So I just figured whatever happens to him in the future I would take care of him. My biggest fear was a stroke and he would live the rest of his life bedridden. But God took care of that - my brother died quickly.

But he was my beloved brother. He was never mean, had the patience of a saint and took care of my mother for years. The last 2 she started exhibiting wandering etc & being male he couldn’t continue making sure she bathed or went #2.

He is being cremated today.

He & I were into gardening & I must have 5-6 plants he shared with me that are now huge plants. I walked the garden yesterday and had a good cry.

Thank you all again!

Off to my great home state of New Jersey....To go through his apartment for the next 4-5 days.

BTW I have learned a lesson about funeral directors. I finally got it done for $1500. These people began calling me Sunday morning offering to take care of it ( cremation).
He was there when they were transporting my brother out. His first offer was $4-5000. I told him he had lost his mind. Then he came down to $2500. Still too high. Ridiculous.
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Shane, I hope the answers help you find a straightforward professional company that will get you through this with proper support.

I am sorry for your loss; but in addition, re-reading your profile, I can't help being worried that this is a terrible blow for you. Please let us know how you're getting on when you feel able.
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Sorry for your loss.

In my area, that is the going rate. My dad passed away last year and we paid 2,500 for cremation and an urn.
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You can simply call around your local funeral home and ask for basic costs. If you do not make a decision ASAP, you will be facing embalming costs till you decide
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Try this website:

http://www.dfsmemorials.com/new-jersey-cremation-services/index.html#.XP6KZiipHNI
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I’m so sorry Shane. My FIL passed at the end of May and just cremation cost us $1300. It also included transport from the nursing home to the mortuary. Of course this is in California not NJ. When my MIL passed, transportation to mortuary, a viewing, casket and 1 hour service plus transport to the cemetery was $5000. If your brother is a veteran, there are some VA funeral benefits-a small burial allowance, headstone, free burial in a national cemetery.

Again I’m so sorry for your loss.
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I live in West SJersey. My X was cremated 3 yrs ago and the cost was 2300 for the cremation. If you want a service, that will cost extra as well the prayer cards.

My suggestion. Have him cremated then if he was a Church goer ask if u can have the service in Church or the chapel. You can donate to the minister and the Church which will be cheaper than using the funeral home. Just went to one like this and they had placed the urn inside a wreath of flowers. Very pretty. People can pay their respects and you can have a sm service. At my Church, the women put on a luncheon. Most of the food is catered but the Church woman served and cleaned up. My Church they provide desserts.

Or just do cremation and have something at someones house. The prayer cards are nice, but what do people really do with them. I have some in a little box. Eventually, they will probably go. Do u have someone in the family that could do up something nice. With his picture and a nice verse and birth and death dates.
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Be careful. Go slow. They’re out to fleece you. Take somebody with you that is a disinterested party, that is not emotionally involved and has been down this road before to help make your decisions.
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I am sorry for your loss. Hugs!

I hope you find something reasonable for your needs. Have you contacted a crematory instead of a funeral home? They are much cheaper because they provide the services required and you cut out the middleman.
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www.allborocremation.com is what popped up when I Googled.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Shane!
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