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She's coming home after 2+ months of hospitalization and rehabilitation. She's moderately successful at activities of daily living. We're starting with 4 hours per day with the home health aide. No house cleaning. We want the aide entirely focused on Patty.

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Aides can do personal care, assist with ADLs (Activities of daily living), prepare meals, accompany clients to doctors appointments on their shifts, light housekeeping, medication reminders (aides do not administer meds), assist with toileting, laundry, assist with ambulation, transfer from bed to chair or wheelchair, provide companionship, and grocery shopping. Aides can also take vitals as long they are included in the care plan.

A nurse from the agency will come out to do an assessment, and create a care plan outlining your wife's needs.
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Reply to Scampie1
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The agency nurse will meet with you and your wife and talk to you about the types of tasks you want done for your wife. A care plan will be developed.
The care plan can include things like: bathing or showering assistance (or even bed bath if needed), hair washing and styling, assisting her with toileting needs, dressing, undressing, teeth brushing, putting on deodorant & makeup, making a simple meal for her, helping her with completing meals & snacks (cutting g food, utensil and cup use), assisting with transferring from one chair to another, or to bed. They can also help with changing soiled linens and clothes. When not providing one of these services, the aid can read to her or sing with her, etc.
I have help for my husband who is bedbound. And mornings to help with personal care and meal is wonderful.
My husband's aid cannot give any medications. She also cannot transport him anywhere or do shopping for him.
I wish you well.
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Reply to JanPeck123
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- Ask the owner/manager of the agency you are employing.
- Be aware that some/most agencies will want to 'offer' more hours a day than might be necessary. Starting w four sounds right (and is the usual minimum hours required through an agency). Some 'encourage' starting at six.

They will let you know what an aide can / will do, and ask about their experience.

- You could also ask the hosp/rehab what is required (get a list and if exercises/rehab, get 'picture' handouts.

- Track all work (rehab) done each day to have a record - to take with you on upcoming med appts to access progress.

It is up to you to tell the aide / agency what your wife needs and see if they have an experienced aide to fulfill these needs.

You could also employ a medical social worker to access needs and help you get set up / monitor during the transition.

I'd encourage you to write out a list of questions that you ask each caregiver / aide (if you interview more than one) ... or they leave and you hire another person. Having the same list of questions helps you keep accurate records - of questions and responses.

Gena / Touch Matters
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BurntCaregiver Apr 25, 2025
Four hours to start off is too many hours if there's no work for the aide to do.
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morning walk
range of motion exercises
assist with meal prep
assist with cleanup after meals
grocery shopping (have a specific day for this)
take to hair salon
errands
change sheets once a week, wash sheets
assist with bed making
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Reply to brandee
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As an aide, she should be doing nothing for you. She can fo wifes laundry. Make her lunch. The housekeeping an aide will do is light housekeeping. That means clean up after getting a meal. Clean the area your wife is primarily in. Clean the bathroom the wife uses. Unless certified, an aide is not allowed to dispense medication or give shots.
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KPWCSC Apr 24, 2025
"As an aide, she should be doing nothing for you."

It depends on how the aide is paid. If it is out-of-pocket, then they should do whatever is agreed on up front or requested as needed.

If another payment source, there are usually guidelines from that source.
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Good advice has been given to you. You don't mention whether your wife's issues include cognitive ones, but having hired several aids from agencies I always ask for an *experienced* person, or I query the agency about how they train their people. If there's not enough to do there is the risk of them sitting and working their phones while you're not there. Make it clear that time-limited breaks are legitimate and acceptable but that browsing/using their phones is not -- unless they are sharing funny animal videos or some such with your wife.

The aid for my Aunts (one with dementia, one without but very elderly) helped them with food prep and hygiene, did light housekeeping, ironing, played board and card games, folded laundry together (some of it was actual laundry and some was a large stack of kitchen towels that my Aunt w/dementia folded several times a day), they chatted, were taken for walks (inside and outside) and on errands. She had my one Aunt with dementia use one of those small, portable foot pedaling devices. She did it for 20-ish minutes while she watched tv. She was in her mid 90s.

I would leave the aid a long list of activities and ideas.
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Reply to Geaton777
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I’m assuming she will have home health therapists coming in? It sounds like she would qualify for PT/OT/ST. I would ask them to instruct the caregiver in home exercise programs and suggest functional activities that will help her to progress(that she is interested in of course). Unless things have changed, it’s unlikely she will have daily physical therapy covered by Medicare but this is where the aide could help out with a home program.
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Reply to MidwestOT
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Do you have photos that need to be organized? If so the aide could work with her on those, and talk about the people and stories and memories while they do.

Old family videos to watch together and talk about what was happening? Any collections (Hummels, postcards, recipes, books) to be organized and downsized if necessary -- again, that could be conducive to conversation?
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Reply to MG8522
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My dad's helper worked about 6 hours a day to start, 5 days a week. She wasn’t one to sit and do nothing. She did the laundry and she and dad did the folding together, that’s part of rehab and therapy. Prepping and/or preparing a meal together is also helpful for regaining skills. Baking cookies is fun. Our helper read to dad, took him on errands, helped as needed with showering, dressing, and organizing meds. They became real friends. Games are a great idea. After what your wife has been through, aiming for “happy” likely shouldn’t be the goal. Sometimes we all have to make the best of new circumstances. I wish you both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Thanks Burnt! ... You're the 1st to respond, just 6 minutes after my post! I understand what you're saying about 4 hours being too much, but that said, I'm not going to be home to help Patty during that time. I can't project what she 'might' need. Other than ongoing, EVERY day physical therapy, I'm fishing in entirely new waters. ... Patty really needs daily physical therapy, and beyond that, just someone to count on to help when the need arises. .... You mention shopping. That's far from an option right now. ... She's more in 'survival mode' right now. I just want her to be HAPPY! .... Without trying to predict what others here might suggest, I'd LOVE it if the home health aide would play games with Patty and talk with her about her life. ... All this will help her come back from not only the long hospitalization, but also stimulate her mind which was destroyed by Gabapentin. ... Thanks for chiming in first Burnt. I'm so glad there's a community here with which to share ideas. .... This reminds me of the early days of the internet. Back then we had 'News Groups'. To me, that was always the best part of today's inter-connective technology. I feel like after a 20+ year absence, I'm home again. Thanks again for your advice.
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BurntCaregiver Apr 18, 2025
@PerfectCouple

I would speak to the homecare agency you're using and tell them exactly what you say in your comment here. Ask if they can possibly send an older, experienced caregiver for your wife.

In this line of a work an experienced caregiver knows how to get lost without leaving the premesis if the client looks like they want to take a nap, or just be on their own. In a case like yours, you can't really expect the caregiver to sit and talk to your wife for four hours every day. Your wife probably does not want that either. So let her know it's okay if she looks at her phone or brings a book. I will take some time for your wife and her caregiver to get to know each other. If the caregiver knows she doesn't have to be "on" every second of her shift, the hours will work out well for both of them.
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I was a homecare aide for many years before going into business. 4 hours a day every day with no actual work involved other than to entertain your wife is too much. If she doesn't need help bathing, housekeeping, or running errands I would cut back those hours to twice a week to start. It may be overwhelming for your wife to have the aide there that much if there's nothing for her to do.

As they get to know one another you, your wife, and the homecare worker can start planning different outings during the week. Shopping, going to lunch, visiting friends, movies, etc... Then the number of days and hours can increase.
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