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Is a memory care unit for alzheimers severe stage. My mom is in good health except for her mind. She talks nonstop about things that are not reality. She says, I don't want to do what those ladies want me to do. I don't have time. Then she asks me if I will help her tell them. She still knows me somewhat and tells me she loves me and thanks me all the time. She is having difficulty going in the car as she becomes scared thinking the sky is water and I will get in the water. She has always been afraid of water. Do they watch them in memory care? What is the environment like? She does not like to be alone, especially at bed. She is scared by herself. She always lived with family and never on her own. I have been taking care of her for 2 years, but I am getting worn out. She talks nonstop and doesn't make much sense.Her mind just seems to be so active. She goes from one thing to another. Talking about these people, then saying I don't have my watch. Always checking to make sure nothing is lost.She can't just sit and watch tv. Starting to get incontinent off and on. Hard to find food that she likes. She is taking zyprexa and zoloft. My brother who she lived with before me for 30 years,died 2 years ago. She keeps saying she wants to go home, and says to me I will call you. Well, there is no home to go to. I tell her that she now lives with me. What if she trys to leave the memory care unit? Need some input from those of you who have experience in a memory care unit. Also mom only gets social security and I filed 2 months ago for VA aid and attendance. How do you know what places take medicare/medicaid. Is there any good places that take Medicaid, or not? I'm torn about this and will try to keep her as long as I can, but I need to get prepared so Im not in a crisis zone.

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We chose to move my mom to a beautiful residential care home after touring her AL's memory care unit where they wanted her to go. My husband toured and said that it was very scary, a woman was trying to hit him with her walker, and that my already falling mom would not be safe. Her new home has just six residents, she is having a very hard time adjusting, but we truly believe it was the best choice for her. I highly recommend enlisting a geriatric care manager familiar with your area who knows the best facilities and homes to direct you to for the right care.
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Thank you Helpnoregon. That was great.
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Sorry, I put this list together adhoc, hope this helps. These are some of the things we’ve learned in 5 months.

When visiting facilities, observe:
do the caregivers sit with residents & eat & interact, IF yes big plus, IF no big minus & means the food & the level of care may be suspect. Also if you eat with them are you charged & what is it?

When do they serve meals?
How are the meals arranged is lunch the big meal & dinner a smaller portion.
What are the menu options?
Will they serve them in their room?
This was a big big deal for us. In my stepmoms previous assisted living situation, if she felt poorly or was afraid of incontinence she would not go down to eat & they refused to bring food in even with drs orders. She was losing weight & was one of the deciding factors on moving her 2000 miles to be closer to us.

Ask what the staff to resident ratio is
What the staff turnover rate is
How many shifts & what is the overlap of shifts, min 1/2 hr so that staff can exchange info.
What time do the shifts change? This was helpful in isolating problems with staff & helping in when to call & check on status of your loved one.

When is the scheduled cleaning? What is the depth of cleaning, do they move items or vacuum most do not deep clean even after years of residency.

Can they have a phone? Many places do not encourage phones because some residents abuse them, it should be a case by case situation.

Do they have both single & 2 to an apt room? Some only have shared rooms for dementia residents.

Can you come anytime, any answer other then yes is not acceptable, but find out what their overall building lockup hrs are & if your provided with swipe care or combo.

What are the extra charges?
Do the provide Kleenex, toilet paper, & other consumable products? I was surprised the things they do not provide.

What kind of residents will they not take?
What type of behavior will result in request to leave?

Are their locks on individual resident’s doors? IF not how do they prevent, wanders from coming in uninvited & unexpected. They had to put a silent alarm on my stepmoms door due to repeat intruder, it helped a lot but it still happens

Is their a method of securing valuables? Some dementia residents will see something like & take it. Labeling everything is a good deterrent, helps with getting laundry back

Can they have a pet? Can you bring a pet in for a visit?
Some places have a routine of pet visits & it really helps with calming residents.

Again the best of luck in your journey & may this info help you a little along the path
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Thank you for letting me know about Marine Courte, I will check them out.
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Start by asking her doctor or visiting nurse. They have a pretty good idea of which facilities have problems. Ask for a tour of each place you visit. Some will even have you come for lunch so you can try the food. Marine Courte in Bremerton will take Medicaid. Give them a call.
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Wow! Is my first reaction. You can be superhuman for a while, but your going to need help! Its great that you are so wonderful with your mom, & I admire you greatly.

However, ask yourself is this what your mother wants for you? YOUR a Great daughter & she is lucky to have you.

Now for us my stepmom has money to last her probably for 6-10 years from what I can tell.
We brought her from central Texas to central Oregon, it was hard, as she was in assisted living situation & not getting the care she needed. She’s very proud & haughty & would say she would never go across the hall (to memory care)

We went to every facility within 30 miles here, that's about 9, all but 1 took Medicaid. A few only had double rooms for memory care & said it was better for those with memory care issues. Maybe so, but not my Stepmom, she’s way too aware to be comfort to be sharing a room.

We choose one that had just opened a memory care unit & had just brought a few people over from the assisted living side of the facility. Its very nice & clean. The caregivers are a mixed bag. Some are really dedicated, some are just doing a job. Weekends & evenings are weak & need the most focus.

Its been 5 months & the first 2 were the hardest trying to figure it out. I think the best way for us to look at this is that we are her advocates & for over 5K a month she will get the attention she needs.

One of her biggest complaints is “crazy people’, & there are some folks that wander & take their clothes off & talk in their own world. That & she complains about how bad the food is. But I know she is safe, I come in at all hrs, see who is on staff, Have meetings w/all the staff admin when we have a problem or concern.

I’m not wild about the ratio of medical staff or the training of some of the “meda-aides”, but overall its been really better for her.

We tried having an outside caregiver come in a few evenings a week but that never worked. Maybe that’s something you could do temporarily to give you a break.

FIND A SUPPORT GROUP NOW!! I can’t emphasize that enough. You are not alone or unique in the feelings & problems your are having

Their should be solutions out there for you. My heart goes out to you & your mom.

Hope this helped.
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Mom is in a memory care facility. Can't say that they do much to improve her memory. They have a lot of activities going on, but she won't do them. The aides are rude and the last nurse I talked to was a bit rude. I email them and don't get answers back. They rarely clean her room. You would think for $6000 per month that more could be done.
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Thank you Petzwv and Jinx for your words. I visited a small memory care unit today and it was sad to me. It seems like she would be lonely there. She did not want to stay there without me and I know she would cry. She would feel like she was abandoned and not know really why. It gets to be a very long day when she is with me and won't let me out of her sight. I wish she could just mellow out a little more. She is being checked for a UTI as she has really been off the wall. I contacted the alzheimers association in our area and they are sending me information for resources. My son has been watching her for a couple hours in the afternoon, but it is getting hard on him. My nerves are getting on edge and I already take zoloft. It feels like you are between a rock and a hard place. I don't like the care units and I don't like the constant pressure of 24/7 caregiving. What kind of help can come into the house? Mom goes to the doctor on tuesday so maybe they can help with some mellowing medication. Any answers or thoughts are always welcome as this is my only outlet with people who are going thru this situation. It does help to know that Im not alone and we all lose it from time to time.
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Sujean, God bless both of you. She sounds like she has anxiety. that would keep her running at high speed mentally all the time.

All I can suggest is to look at videos that are available online by Teepa Snow. She is an expert in dementia, and has good suggestions for calming people. Also, do you get any break? Can you get someone to come in so you can get out by yourself?
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The Memory Care Facility where my mom went was great during the day. I found I needed to go more at night to make sure everything was ok. During the day there were alot of staff members and volunteers, at night not so much!!!!
My mom had 2 "falls" (bruises) at night that were Never explained. She had never had any problems with falls befor. She did get up at night and wander...thats why she was placed there.I was told that wouldent be a problem, staff was there to talk to her and reassure her everything was ok. Reality, they told her to go back to bed and if she didnt, they would "escort" her!! Night staff is far different than day staff I found. I wish I had been there more at night.
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