My mom passed away from dementia on 1/21/19, after suffering for about 4 years. She was living in a nursing home. Before anything transpired, I had made the decision to place her on Hospice, because I had read so many wonderful things and so many people saying that they wished their loved one was able to benefit sooner than their final days. On another note, I had read about people's loved ones passing away soon after being placed on Hospice, instead of lasting many more months as expected. I thought that wouldn't happen to my mom and that was only for other people.

On 1/19, I received a call from Hospice to come up to the nursing home because Mom was put on oxygen because her O2 level had suddenly dropped to 50 during breakfast. When I arrived, I asked if she was dying and was told yes and that she was in the "pre-active" state. I called everyone and my siblings and Mom's friends came. Her O2 level went up and down until the nurse said that the oxygen wasn't helping, so we removed it and waited.

This was not peaceful for her. She seemed to struggle with the whole process and it's hard to forget.

Did me placing her on Hopsice speed up her death? If not, would being off of Hospice have made a difference in her care? Was this just her body shutting down and would have happened regardless? I feel like I did this to her by placing her on Hospice.

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Of course it's not your fault. Putting her on hospice didn't speed up her death. It was her time. Putting her on hospice was the right thing to do.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to needtowashhair

Crafty 789
The only thing that is your fault is that you made a loving, compassionate choice for your mom. Second guessing your decision is normal, but you DID make the right decision to not let her die in pain, and to be surrounded by those she loved as she left this life for her next one.
Lots of hugs and my sincere condolences on her passing {{{{
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Reply to katydid1

No this isn’t your fault. Hospice doesn’t prolong life, they provide end of life care but they also don’t speed up the dying process. It is not unusual for people to pass soon after going on hospice and it’s usually because hospice was called in at the end. Again hospice does not speed up death. Hospice doesn’t come in and shut peoples bodies down. If her body was shutting down, nothing would have prevented that. If hopsice hadn’t been there, the end probably would have been worse for her.
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Reply to worriedinCali

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