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I've worked for a 79 yrs old, stage 6 Alzheimer's client for two years. Her family calls constantly to ask if she's eating, if she's ok. Often commenting I'm not doing my job to other people, when in fact I am. I do document everything thru-out the day. I'm confused on how I'm supposed to keep my client perfectly happy..the husband and children happy at all times. Any ideas on unrealistic expectations?

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The children need to understand that when a person's brain has a disease, they won't be perfectly happy because of the disease. We just try our best. That's all we can do. I think the camera idea is great so they can see what's going on.
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Is the husband in the home with his wife and you, so you're effectively looking after him as well?

You're a saint. Otherwise I'm not sure how you'd have stood this for two years and not thumped anyone! :)

These comments about you to other people, that you're not doing your job... are you sure that's being said and that that's what they mean? And who are these remarks being made to?

As a professional caregiver, you have a duty to your client #1. Then to keep her happy and comfortable must involve ensuring her husband is okay, too #2. Other family members - unless they are officially responsible? - you owe not a thing to, but then again it would be unprofessional to be rude or get into conflict with them. It's fine for them to *ask*, it's not fine for them to meddle.

I wonder if you could point out to whoever is in charge of your contract that their constant calls on your time are detrimental to your work, so perhaps they could streamline the communication amongst themselves?

You do get on all right with the husband, do you? - you must do, surely, or you wouldn't have stayed so long. Has there been any change in him recently?
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anonymous990615 Dec 11, 2019
The comments are made from from her children.They visit on the weekends. Then I get called during the week.The husband is still working and I have a good relationship with him.Hes never voiced concerns.I certainly do not want to cause conflict with anyone.Im aware its difficult worrying about a loved one.Im trying to be sensitive to everyone's needs.
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Are these people friends as well as employers? I’m wondering how you know they’re talking behind your back unless you know the same people. If so, it’s not always a good idea to work for friends.

Suggest to them that if they have doubts regarding your ability to care for their loved one they place cameras around the house. They can then observe in real time whether their loved one is eating and otherwise being cared for to their specifications. This would also eliminate the need for constant phone reports.
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AlvaDeer Dec 11, 2019
What a good idea!
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Tell them the reason you are there is so they can sit back and relax. That constant calls interfere with taking care of Mom. That you document everything for them so really no need for the calls.

I would also bring up the commenting to others how they feel you are not doing ur job. If they are not happy then they need to bring it to ur attention so you can correct it. Or, they can find another aide.
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