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They're supposed to give us a break.

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When on Hospice when the aide comes that is your time. That is why they are there to give the family a break. You can even ask for more time to shop for groceries or run errands. I would leave. If you want quiet time, go to the library or a park. Go visit a friend.

This is what I don't like about home hospice. The family is still doing most of the work. We had home Hospice for Dad but with Mom she was in a NH. Which was nice. When the Hospice was not there the NHs staff was.

Good that you are looking for a new Agency. Make sure they know when the aide is there its your time to yourself and sister.
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worriedinCali Sep 16, 2019
Must be different from hospice to hospice because the hospice here, the hospice aides and nurses do not come to give you a break, they come to tend to the person on hospice. . The aides don’t cook or clean or administer meds, they just clean the patient & put clean bedding on. They don’t stay for a few hours so you can shop. They have volunteers that will visit/sit with the person but they don’t do anything but sit and talk. If you want respite, the person has to go to a nursing home for a few days.
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Generally hospice does include the family in care, especially if the family cared for the elder before hospice came in. They are to include the family, quite honestly in EVERYTHING from plan of care, to what to expect.
Are you saying that you would prefer, that you need, to have a break when the hospice CNA is there? If that is the case, do discuss it with your case manager so they can arrange for two people to be there if a two person assist is needed.
Generally the idea is to have the last stage of life be as peaceful and good as possible, with family there, with more understanding of this end of life stage. Hospice used to be wonderful. I think now it often turns out to be like any care agency, with little support; one more thing that is "following the money". Wishing you good luck in this last time with the elder you love and have so lovingly cared for.
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JoAnn29 Sep 16, 2019
Alva,

I agree about being involved with the patients care. Family members are usually the ones to give meds and morphine. But the whole purpose of an aide is to give the family some downtime. Until a couple of posts here, I have never heard of a family member being asked by an aide to help them. Mom had therapy in my house. She could get around Ok. I had an aide for bathing her. Yes, I layed out her clothes and made sure the aide had what she needed but I didn't help. Thats why their was an aide.
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Grandma1954, yes, yes and yes!!!.

We did that after one of the CNA's just walked out and slammed the door leaving my dad half dressed and because I did reply quick enough for her. After that incident we requested her to have a helper. Long story short they had no one available to assist. So we got another Aide and she is not that great either. Then apologises for asking us to help all the time when we should be taking a break. I couldn't reply in a Christian way. So I said nothing and just looked at her like seriously.

So we looking for a different company but dont want it to be even worse, ya know.
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The CNA should talk to her or his supervisor and say that this person has become a 2 person assist.
It is unacceptable that they ask you to help. If you were to be injured, if the patient were to be injured or the employee injured while you were helping that would be a problem.
Tell the CNA that you are not able to help her or him that they should request help from another employee.
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Because I have to! They come out the room call my name or sisters name. So they expect us to help. Like I do this all day by myself with no help. You all are professionals, why can't you do it alone! ? Ya know.
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pamzimmrrt Sep 16, 2019
Well heck they should be able to! Are they from an agency? How are you getting a break? Just say you are leaving for some reason, and they should be able to figure it out! I feel so bad for you, good luck here!
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Do you help because you HAVE to or because you THINK you have to? Go and enjoy yourself, I am sure they are used to a hard time.
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