Client tells me to leave but her son hired me. I'm not sure what to do.

Suggestion: Have the caregiver tell Mom “thanks for being so considerate. Unfortunately, my ride won’t be here until [whatever time she’s agreed to be there] so I wonder if I might just wait quietly in here [some room that will not disturb Mom’s privacy] until they arrive? Meanwhile, if there’s anything I can help with as long as I’m here, please let me know.” I tried this with a woman whose son had insisted she have a caregiver. She complained, I kept showing up with a smile, and before long she asked me to make her bread pudding. I admitted I didn’t know how and that was the magic moment for her. She was now my teacher (and a very demanding one she was, of course). I learned to make bread pudding, and she got an active role in our relationship. Before long I was “learning” how to wipe off a counter correctly, how to clean a bathroom correctly, how to help her with exercises correctly, and even how to read to her correctly. As long as I loved her curmudgeonly self just as it was, we got along. Pretty soon I was the only caregiver she tolerated and I was also her son’s hero. May have been a fluke, but give it a shot if you can get the caregiver to agree to this role of “student”.

I would tell her after you take care of xyz you will head out. Then get busy taking care of those items.

Try to stay busy and out of her way while she is wanting you to leave.

Talk to your employer about this and ask them if they want you to say anything specific.

My husband’s grandpa fired his caregiver every day. Typical for some elderly to do so. He couldn’t be left alone. My in laws hired live in help at his home and he told them to go home daily.

The caregiver was warned about his behavior and she ignored it and went about her business. It’s unfortunate these things happen but kind of goes with the territory.

I wouldn’t expect any personality changes from him this late in the game. He is most likely set in his ways.

I wish you well and hope things go as smoothly as possible.

I don't know what your training level is with dementia and als, but you may want to reach out to your local Senior Services and ask if there are any programs for a caregiver of a patient with dementia or if they can direct you to some. Where I live there is and it helped me tremendously. I learned to understand the behavior and it made things less stressful for both. It is still a tough road to tread. Maybe you can, as suggested above, leave the area when she goes into her rant. When you return try to redirect her into some fun kind of thing. Check with her son what she used to like to do. Simple easy things. I have learned from visiting the nursing home that if dementia patients are not kept busy they get all kinds of strange behaviors. Did she like cooking? Maybe she can help you cook the rice, peel the potatoes, fold towels, anything easy that she can do with out frustration.. My brother was a musician - I bring easy music sheets and have him name the notes or symbols. He spends hours doing this and loves it. I also have him draw music out of music sheets.
I hope some of these suggestions can help you. There is a lot of good advice in this forum. Patience is also key. Best of luck to you and all involved.

Sometimes we just have to let it go. I think that she can eat what she wants, getting her meds is important maybe. Maybe she doesn't need anything. If she is 85 and has Alzheimer's then trying to change her lifestyle is an exercise in futility, as you are discovering.

Have you talked to her son and asked if he has any ideas how to deal with mom?

I would ask about maybe going outside for a bit to try and reset her time. Such a difficult situation to be in.

The client doesn't get to decide as her brain is broken.

Have the son's number on speed dial, every time she starts up call him and hand her the phone, let her talk to him about it. Enough calls and that will end.

talk to the Son, maybe the two of you can come p with a plan

It sounds like you're there late afternoon until dinner time ?
frankly, this is the toughest part of the day
is there anyway you can suggest to son to maybe switch up and be there late morning, cover lunch and leave as she goes down for a nap ?

they get tired, cranky and sundown in the afternoon

if you can connect with her earlier in the day then it might help and she may even take up a little activity with you that she'll begin to look forward to - puzzle, short walk weather permitting etc

Thank you guys for your answers! :)