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My mom's caregiver that works for an agency asked me for $165.00 to have her heat turned back on. I’m a RN and make good money...but I have never been asked by a caregiver for money. I told her I didn’t have it, she knew I was lying but I don’t think it’s good practice for caregivers to ask family members for money. I asked her to ask her agency for an advance in her pay and she said they gave it to her. Have you ever been asked for money? I did give her a bonus for Christmas but that’s all.

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Not only this, but now you know there is a person around who needs money and might take something of value if she has access and your mother is not otherwise monitored.
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In my experience most agencies have very strict guidelines about personal interaction (outside actual care giving) between their employees and family members. After my Mom passed, her HHA called me several times asking to be hired for my father, crying she had no money, etc. When we eventually did hire someone for my father I asked the agency to please not send this particular person. They were appalled when I explained why.
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I think Hannah has put her finger on it. Most agencies have rules about things like that, to protect their clients. What if this lady had asked a vulnerable elder for the money? - clear abuse of trust, definite firing offence.

Come to think of it... How do you know she hasn't asked all her clients?

I don't mean you shouldn't be sympathetic to her difficulties, as you might be to anyone who discussed their money worries with you. But if she's struggling to make ends meet then it's a bigger issue than some kind person bailing her out "just this once" will solve. What more do you know about this lady?
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All posters have great points....
I too was asked by one of FIL’s caregivers. I happened to know that every agency I worked with in their hospice programs as a provider myself had very strict rules against such a thing and I told the caregiver this.
As much as I liked this individual, I reported her to the supervisor because she crossed the line of professionalism.
I knew that either way, we were in a lose-lose situation and I resented her for putting me in that position.
If I gave her the money, she’d continue to ask. If I didn’t I’d run the risk of her being resentful and either taking her frustrations out on Dad in some fashion or decide that taking something of value from our house would be okay.
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It's hard when you are put on the spot like that, I can't imagine anyone being as brazen as your caregiver though. It's a no win situation, if you say no you feel like an uncharitable scrooge, if you say yes you feel used and are left to wonder if you will ever be repaid and when she will hit you up for the next loan.
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I've been asked for money by employees over the years. I think some of them are testing the water.
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It depends on how much you like this caregiver because if you report it to agency, she would be terminated. At the minimum, ask agency not to have her return if you feel uncomfortable with her. You can always suggest to her that local churches will often pay utility bills for people in need.
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I was asked. I answered with I could actually pay you for actual time worked up until that day(middle of pay period). It worked, and it never really happened again. It's a hard position to be put in. God bless, and healthy 2018
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I would report this to the agency.
this should not occur.
this is an abuse.
There may be some people that would think that if I don;t give the care giver extra money they they will not take good care of "Mom".

If you do give this person money it will not be the last time that they ask.
And just think this is asking one family...if this care giver works with more families and they ask each one..that is a lot of extra income that is never reported.
Ok just call me a cynic....
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When my mom was in nursing home a nurse there was visibly upset one time. She was a nurse our family liked and who was very good to my mom, a middle aged lady. My dad, younger and healthier at the time, talked to her about what was bothering her. She told him she desperately needed $500 that day, but didn’t tell him why. I knew nothing of this at the time but he went and got her the $500. She told him she knew this could cost her her job and she’d repay him as soon as possible. In a few weeks she started giving him money, and over a few months she repaid the whole $500. I was amazed my dad did this, more amazed she repaid it, still don’t know what it was for and never will, and still don’t recommend it! My dad remains quite proud of it...
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