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My grandmother (mother through adoption) has the beginnings of demintia. I have been unable to obtain her birth certificate, she was born in California and I think she is confused about some facts. I've applied for it 3 times and have been told she isn't in the records each time. If I manage to obtain her birth certificate, I will then have to get her marriage certificate, this is a serious hurdle, since she says she was never married. Her estranged husband passed away, her social security card has her married name, not maiden. I have talked to health and welfare, DMV, social security, her bank, and of course vital statistics. Any suggestions?

Sometimes people on Ancestry.com build family trees. Names can show up there. If you're not a member of Ancestry.com, the resources may be limited. Often the family trees are private. But it might be worth a shot to search her name(s) in various online search engines as well as Ancestry.com. Once you find her true name, you can work from there.

My great-grandmother was born on a ship in the middle of the ocean on Feb. 29 in a leap year, but I was still able to locate her through various online means. Keep at it, and you might find something somewhere. Keep in mind that spellings may vary. For instance, a person whose name was Matilde Koehler when she was born might have changed it to Matilda Kohler later. I had a relative whose name was Dragotea, but the nuns when she entered school in the U.S. changed it to Dorothy, though her last name remained the same making her traceable.

Good luck in your search.
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Reply to Fawnby
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The problem with getting a copy of a birthcertificate is it filedvin the County where she was born. So that much you have to know. And to get it, you do need to know her maiden name. I had to obtain my Moms marriage licence from her first marriage. I had to go thru the states vital statistics. I has that married name and approximately when and where she was married. With that little info, I was able to get a copy.

Did your Grandmother never have a drivers license? All an ID is taking that license and reverting it to an ID. No passport?
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Reply to JoAnn29
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When you have talked to these agencies what have they suggested you try?
What advice have they given you?
Are you certain she was born in a Hospital? If she was born at home there may have been a problem with registration.
Have you asked her doctor how to proceed.

I honestly wouldn't know myself how to proceed after you have done all you have done. Just thinking in terms of what I would do it would come down to getting advice from APS, from online research, from the Bureau of Vital Statistics, from my local Council or Agency on Aging.

If ALL of that was fruitless I would be down to a P.I., I think (private investigation). They are often quick today, functioning more from their computers than any work on the streets.

I really cannot think of anything else. Perhaps a WALK-IN at Bureau of Vital Stats where she lives to ask what THEY would personally do at this point.
Hope you'll update us. What a mystery she is. And I am assuming you have been through ALL her papers. It's unusual for us elders not to have marriage and birth certificates tucked away somewhere. And SOMEhow she got on Social Security at some point. So there is SOMEthing out there. Good luck finding it.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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It would be helpful to know why you need this info? My Mom is 95 years old. At one point she had all that ID but now that she has mild/moderate dementia and memory impairment (and lives in her own house next door to me) I can no longer find those documents. I discovered they were missing when I wanted to apply for TSA Pre-approval for her (because I was taking her down to FL to visit her sister often). I no longer had any ID for her that they'd accept. Not even an expired passport (it was expired for more than 10 years). Then I went to get a duplicate title for her car so I could sell it (my Mom had hidden it when she stopped driving because she didn't want me to sell her car). For some reason when she bought the car she had put her maiden name on the title (even though that is not her legal name). I went to her house and couldn't find her birth certificate, and her marriage license did not have her maiden name on it, and they didn't accept her ss or Medicare card or existing license as proofs. Eventually I found her Nursing License which had all names on it (first, middle, maiden and last) and then could get the title (and also because I think the supervisor at the DMV took pity on me since I had been back and forth several times with documents). She won't be able to collect on her ex's SS unless she was married to him a minimum of 10 years and she needs to produce both the marriage and divorce paperwork. What else would she need these IDs for?
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Reply to Geaton777
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Why do you need her birth certificate? Or an ID with her maiden name?

Make appt. with your local SS Offices, and go there in person with her card. They are very helpful in person, NOT on the phone. Use that SS card to get her ID situation straight. Her legal name (despite her denying being married) is on that card. She can't change her name back to her maiden name in Calif. without the Judge (who finalized her divorce) ordering that name change at her request. Otherwise, she is stuck with that as her legal name, period.

You can't just go back to using your maiden name without Court approval at the final divorce hearing, if the Judge authorized it. She can deny being married all day, but that SS Card proves she was.

Otherwise use that SS Card to help get a her basic DMV ID card. SS may have a record of when she applied for that card, apparently after she got married. SS will have more records, including any jobs she had over the years. You bring utility bills she paid with her address on them to DMV to prove residency. With her SS card, a recent utility bill, a new photo is taken and about $45, she can get a basic California ID card.
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Reply to Dawn88
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