I've been my mom's trustee de-facto for nine years and officially for the last three years. She originally didn't put me down as a trustee because I have a stress-related illness and she was worried overseeing her care would be too much (she has ALZ). When the time came, the original trustees were unable take on the responsibilities, and my brother, being out of state, wasn't an option given the type of oversight needed (transportation to dr's appts., finding an appropriate living situation etc., ). I wasn't going to take a trustee fee cause I want my mom to have her money - its hers- but the reality is my Mom over the years has periodically said to me, 'honey I hope you are taking a little something" As confused as she is, Mom seems to get what I've done and continue to do for her. In speaking with my Mom's attorney he said that even though I didn't track my hours that as de-facto and current I'm entitled to compensation and should take it so he suggested to do the best I can and guesstimate...which I did and it basically equates to .05% of her estate/per year- about $4500- which when you divide by 52 weeks is pretty reasonable and fair. So, I haven't told my brother and I know I need to, but I'm so paranoid of his reaction and paranoid he is going to fight it. Mom's attorney said as long as the fee isn't outrageous (which it isn't) it will hold up in court (and based on my own research that does seem to be the case) I'm not up to a conflict with him- it'll just add more stress that I don't need however, he knows darn well I've done everything and says as much but I seriously think this will blind side him. And yes, full transparency I'm pissy at him for not stepping up more. Yes he is out of state, but a lot has changed since Mom's journey began and he could be here more but chooses not to. And quite frankly "thank you" and being 'appreciative' doesn't offset the time and stress I've carried (I work full time, married and at one point in school for my masters) So how do I start this conversation???? I'm hoping I'm stressing over nothing but I feel like I need to prepare for the worst. He has this WIFE and he drinks her kool aid..