My 91yo Dad, who lives in Mass., was diagnosed with Parkinson's a few years ago and has also wrestled with depression for about 20yrs; he recently went into the hospital diagnosed with blood clots, because his typical day was sleeping/staying in bed until noon--or, more recently, 4pm or 5pm--coming downstairs, eating something, then smoking a cigar, reading the paper, and listening to the radio. Although he claimed to have many activities, he missed most of them--he wouldn't bother walking down the street to watch football with a neighbor, and when someone from the Civil War roundtable came by to pick him up, he'd still be in bed. My stepmom, 88 and with cancer, was basically dying trying to care for him, even with a woman coming in once a week. Dad's got longterm care insurance (assisted living or nursing care only) and essentially no money, so there's no way for him to get the care he needs at home. My brother and I decided, after talking with various folks, that it would be better for him to go from rehab straight into assisted living--to manage his meds and get him socializing. We had mentioned this to him last summer, and, although he was reluctant, he wasn't 100% ruling it out--and my cousin (his nephew, whose mother also suffered from depression) had apparently made some progress selling him on the idea. We found a nice place nearby, cigar-friendly, and with a former neighbor of Dad's already living there and loving it. The plan is for Stepmom to move there in a couple of months; the family dog is still alive, and she needs to wrap up some things as well (and doesn't want to move in until he's adjusted, as she will wind up killing herself trying to care for him). Well, of course, he's not happy--although he seems to be experiencing a number of mood swings. The move-in was hampered by a number of residents getting hit with the stomach flu, including Stepmom (who had to postone daily visits for several days while she recovered). My brother and I (neither of us in the same state, although my brother was out there to help facilitate the move) have been speaking to him on the phone, reiterating the need for Dad's care, the financial situation, and Stepmom's plans to move in with him. Unfortunately, he complains to her that we don't call (not true). He doesn't remember when she tells him she can't visit because she's got a visiting nurse coming to the house, and he says he can't get hold of her (even though they spoke on the phone five times today). Dad says he's perfectly healthy, without Alzheimer's or dementia. Technically true, but the short term memory is shot. Do we tell him that--explain how his short term memory is virtually non existent? If so, how? Or do we focus on the other reasons that have led to his current situation (eg, the blood clots, depression, etc)? The facility will be bringing in a psychologist to talk to Dad (and possibly modify his meds) but we are hoping to be able to say the right thing on the phone. Thanks in advance.