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He has done so many other hurtful things as well. He threw her kitty cats out of the house. They all have to live on their own and they’ve never been out of the house in their 13 yrs of life. I am trying to re-capture all of them and at least get them to a shelter. He has chopped down all of her trees in their that were in their front yard. He stopped watering anything which has killed all of her bushes and her roses everything that meant anything to her. He states he cannot take care of any of the things that she did because she just does not have the time. I think that something has snapped and I don’t know if this is proof that I may seek power of attorney over his mental health or not? His boss has really dug his way into my stepfather‘s life. And he is going gambling with him all the time I fear that the next move will be that he asked him if he can be power of attorney on the house you never know when someone will do such a thing. My stepfather speaks of this man is the smartest man on earth and he admires him so very much. If he continues at this pace of gambling he will be completely broke within 8 to 10 months.

I don't think you have much influence here unless you want to spend a lot of time and money pursuing guardianship that you may not win and may not actually want. It is very stressful and unfortunate to have to watch this "sausage being made" as he declines but when it gets bad enough you can alert APS and report him as a vulnerable adult and they will pursue guardianship over him and take care of his needs. My own SF in-law was completely uncoorperative and wound up a ward of the county. He got the care he needed. Good luck!
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Reply to Geaton777
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I’m not quite sure about ‘working so not incompetent’. There was a true story about a Government department where an older guy was a bit notorious for not getting much done. He went off on sick leave, and his wife came in to see the boss at the end of the week. She thanked him for his kindness in letting her husband keep going until the dementia simply got too hard to cover, and asked him to thank the other staff for their tolerance as well. It was a bit of a shock to all!
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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I agree with WorriedinCali, I didn't catch how long ago your mother passed away, but this might be a manifestation of his grief. Forget POA and guardianship....he is still working, so would never be deemed incompetent. It's not a crime to cut down the trees, or to gamble. All you can do is voice your concern to him, let him know you are there for him. If he goes broke, it's his doing, and there is not a lot you can do. Have you talked to him about your mom's passing? Is he open to taking about it?
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Reply to SofiaAmirpoor
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It almost sounds as though your step-father had a head of steam about your mother, and wants to get rid of all traces of her – as well as getting into things like gambling that she would have disapproved of. Is it worth trying to talk to him about this? It would be painful for you, but it might be a less destructive way for him to deal with any anger.

Could you explain how old he is, and how long he had been caring for your mother before her death? Have you had a good relationship up to now? Did he inherit the house and all her assets, so that the gambling is getting through funds that your mother would have expected to come to you? Does he understand the options and costs for his own care in future?

If you can’t deal with him, it would be good if you could find someone who could talk things through with him. You can’t ‘seek POA’, he has to want to give it to you, but if you think that he has really lost it, guardianship is always an option. Otherwise you may have no alternative except to walk away. You have my sympathy. Families can be awful, step families can be even worse.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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I am so sorry for your loss.

Gambling is so destructive.

Do you have any way to stop him from transferring the house or is he the property owner now that your mom has passed?

Would your mom really want you to be subjected to this behavior, it is obviously different than what she anticipated happening. Or he is using gambling to make himself forget his loss.

If you think that this person is financially exploiting your stepdad in his vulnerable position you can file a report with metro. The elder abuse laws in Nevada have some very serious teeth. Use them to help protect your SD from losing everything at a time he may be out of his right mind because of his loss.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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id toss together a card table and skin him out of a big fistful of that sht before its all gone .
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Reply to anonymous158299
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He is your stepfather. Do you have to care so much if he insists on behaving in such a self destructive manner. It is wonderful for you to try and help the animals. Are you the only family? It seems as though you might be better off walking away. It doesn't seem likely he will listen to reason.
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Reply to Riverdale
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You can’t just seek POA. He has to voluntarily assign it to you and it wouldn’t allow you to control him. You can seek guardianship through the courts but it’s hard to get and he has to be declared incompetent. Please consider that he is grieving too. We all grieve differently. When my MIL went on hospice with 3 months to live, my husband went out back and chopped down a bunch of trees. MILs boyfriend got rid of her stuff as fast as he could because that’s how he copes.
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