What do you do when your step father, who is DPOA and Healthcare Proxy of your Mother, will not provide the proper level of care, will not accept help because of trust issues with everyone - family or hired, believes he knows best and is fine, has savings and will not hire any help, and will not take any input from family or friends who are in the healthcare field? My mother cannot care for herself, cannot shower, cannot get out of bed on her own, cannot use the bathroom and uses a bed pan, is a two person assist to get to a wheel chair (and there's only 1 person home) and is struggling to recover from a debilitating fall and sepsis 1 year ago. She is not given meds properly, the house is scary filthy, and she is not fed a healthy diet. As her adult children we live over 1 hour away, work full time, and spend 1 day a week there cleaning / helping to come back and find it a disaster in a couple of days. We are worried about him as well. He is burning out and not taking his own medication in the process. He has now told us not to touch anything and it is his home. We feel our hands are tied as we have no power to change anything. What do we do as we are at a loss and want to see our mother able to recover to a better quality of life if at all possible? To us this is not fair to her. He loves her deeply and wants to do this (and tries) but it is really a disaster with no outside help coming in.