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As above, my father is currently in an AL apartment. He is wheelchair bound, incontinent, no strength in his legs - he also has vascular dementia, good days and bad days. He might not know ‘names’ but he knows ‘who’ people are (including family). He can ‘showtime’ with the best of them - but is unable to operate his phone, TV/remote, etc., spends most of his day in front of the fireplace in the lobby, snoozing, does not participate in ANY activities. I guess my question is, is he in the right place? This AL also has a MC section.

You might ask the facility about trying out the MC section. Keep him in his same apartment, but spend a few daytimes in the MC unit to test if it's a better fit. The staff there might be more used to actively trying to draw the residents out and engage them into the activities.
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Reply to MG8522
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Kathyintex: As your father has dementia, perhaps he requires placement in a memory care facility.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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I'm surprised that his facility hasn't already mentioned that your father needs to be moved to their memory care facility now, as it sounds like that move should have been done already.
So talk to them today about getting him moved to memory care where he belongs.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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I agree with having a discussion with the facility admins. They will know whether he's in the appropriate spot or not. Not sure how he manages his hygiene if he is incontinent and wheelchair bound... this alone is a problem.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Kathyintex Jan 19, 2025
The caregivers check him every couple of hours, they help him up in the mornings, pick out clothing, remind him to brush teeth, assist with showers 2x weekly. And, yes, he is extremely quiet but alert, aware, and showtimes every time someone comes by. Always with platitudes, not original thought and proper response to the question/statement.
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Speak with the admins of the facility. Call them first for an appointment; tell them you wish to discuss Dad's level of care, and ask them to speak with his caregivers directly before meeting with you.
Dad sounds a bit above ALF care, but--and however--if he's a peaceable guy who sits and watches the lobby TV, the fireplace, the companions in facility, and just watching the world go by, he may have more time in ALF.
In my brother's facility it was fine line that often needed drawing; they were very cognizant of the fact that a bump up in dollars often cannot be done. Neither, however, could fellow residents be dealing with someone who may wander, become confused and et.

Good luck.
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