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We have been having many issues within our family with my sister being too controlling with my mother. She has installed cameras in the house to watch everyone's every move and does not allow them to be turned off even if I'm there caring for her. When I did unplug the camera, she called the police on me. They obviously didn't do anything but tell us to figure it out with the social worker. She won't share my mother's banking information or statements with me, medical information, or anything for that matter. She wants to be in complete control of everything. Because of all this, we no longer speak unless its an emergency or to argue.


My mother is not happy with all of the drama going on and was recently tricked into speaking to an attorney. She was told by my sister that she was taking her to a doctor's appointment, which was not the truth. My mother was very upset by this and is now afraid to go to any appointments with my sister in fear of being tricked again.


My sister is attempting to get POA of my mother, but my mother has already told me she does not want that at all and wants my sister to stop creating problems. Is there anything I can do to prevent this from happening? We also have a brother and he doesn't feel she should have that power.


This is something my sister has done over and over again with previous family members. She takes them to court and tries to win complete control and manipulates everyone so that she gets her way. We've attempted to talk and come to a compromise but she does not want to do anything other than get her way.


Any assistance is greatly appreciated.

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Of course your mother can refuse to sign POA papers. She has to willingly and knowingly give that authority to any one she wants, or to no one.

If she has been tricked into signing a POA document she can very easily rescind it. And appoint someone else. Or not appoint anyone. This is totally and completely up to her. There is nothing you can do to stop another person from being assigned. It could be Sister, or you, or someone Mother trusts who is not a relative. It is completely up to her. All she has to do to prevent Sis having POA is to not sign the document.

POA gives authority in the realm of legal and financial matters. It does NOT confer authority over the person. So, for example, it would not allow the agent to insist on a monitor. That has nothing to do with finances.

There is another kind of POA -- Medical POA, also sometimes called Heathcare Proxy. This one, of course, extends authority regarding medical matters. This one does extend to authority over the person in the realm of health. The placement of a monitor might be OK under this power -- but not while Mother is able to make her own decisions. This authority is often conferred as part of an Advance Healthcare Directive.

I say stand firm when Sister tries to exert authority she does not have. Turn off the monitor while you are with your mother, for example. If she fusses, ask to see any document that gives this authority. Try to stay calm and not let this deteriorate into a shouting match. "If you think you have authority to make that decision, please show me the paperwork. Until then I will continue doing XXXXX [whatever it is you are arguing over].

Standing up to Sis would probably be easier if you had POA and Medical POA. Would your mother agree to that? (Without being tricked, of course.)
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**just realized the title says grandmother, should say mother.
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