Should you tell or not? - AgingCare.com

Should you tell or not?

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please see the posts from johnmichele reguarding

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Well, not knowing what to do, I told my mom about it. In the beginning stages she said, "oh, there's nothing wrong with me. Everyone forgets in old age. It's normal." So I didn't press the issue... But now in mid-stage, I have told her and she vehemently denies anything is wrong with her. So, honestly, I guess in a beginning stage it's "iffy" to tell or not tell (i.e. when they are capable of comprehending the diagnosis if they want to make arrangements, etc) but once they hit mid-stage there's no point in discussing or unveiling the diagnosis because they are no longer able to really understand what is wrong with them, and in many cases, you are the bad guy for telling them and are lying to them in their eyes. It only upsets them at this point.
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We have told both my boyfriends parents they have dementia. His father was relieved and jokes about it. He does pretend at times he doesnt know someone or doesnt hear to get out of talking to people. He gets confused generally when its dark out and what day it is. He is fine with diagnosis. On the other hand, his mother told the doctor she does not accept his diagnosis and that we are purposely messing with her head. She told the dr and other people we bought her a cat and lie to her and tell her its not there. She accuses us of putting circus tents in yard and gets mad we wont go get her an elephant ear. She tells everyone that we are mean and make her life miserable. So i think you should tell her, but be prepared based on her personality for her to be upset by it.
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