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YOU are their employer.
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Repeat after me: "Make an appointment'".
Or, "SEND SOMEONE ELSE".
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Be rude right back, don't let them in if they just show up at your door, especially after not showing up or calling to cancel the prior appointment.

Then, there is always the passive/aggressive answer, "oh, I forgot you were coming, that is why I was not home".

These tactics seem mean, however, if they are out to ruin your sanity, let the consequences lie with them. They won't get paid.

I was around when an R.N. tried to help a neighbor with antibiotics, I.V., but the neighbor did not come home from the hospital, instead spent overnight elsewhere. The nurse made it a point to return to do the job.

Lighten up, stop running around to accommodate everyone. It will all get done by them. You just don't work for them.

We n e v e r answer the door.
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I understand your need to work, MomMandI. Who is with your mom while you work? Could that person occasionally let the nurse in and report the session to you? Naturally you would like to be there when the nurse is there at least some of the time, but when that doesn't work out, could the caregiver take on this role?

Sometimes when the nurse visited my husband it was almost like a social call. She took vitals and checked for bed sores, etc. but if there was nothing needed the call was fairly short. Sometimes some cares were needed and she got it done. Those visits were longer.

Scheduling hospice visits is not like scheduling three cleaning jobs a day, each to take 2 hours. The time needed depends on the specific circumstances of the patient -- and often that can't be predicted even the day before.

Sometimes our nurse showed up a little earlier than expected, because her previous patient had light needs. Sometimes she was later. Sometimes she had to reschedule. This flexibility was a bit inconvenient, but I was sure glad for it when it was my husband who needed the extra time!

The social worker should have called to explain why she didn't come when expected. Death is not scheduled but it has to be addressed whenever it happens. Emergencies happen. I would not fault the social worker for not coming -- but for not communicating the change to you.

Some patients are on hospice for months, some only for weeks or days. The patient population changes all the time, and with it the need to adjust schedules.

Frankly, I think the attitude that if the hospice agency cannot meet your scheduling needs you should find another agency is impractical and unrealistic. Yes, they work for you -- and for a large number of other clients who have scheduling needs too. "My needs should always come first" is not looking at the whole picture with compassion.

Yes, if your cleaning person can't meet the schedule you prefer, find a different cleaner. If your hair stylist doesn't have an standing opening at the time you need it, find a different stylist.

Hospice? Understand the complexities of scheduling service and try to work within their framework. State what you want, but don't expect to get it every time. Lots of other clients are stating what they want, too.
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beenthere60, do you really think scheduling a bathing service is equivalent to scheduling hospice? I commend your strategies for dealing with regular home-care services. And keeping a window of time open makes a lot of sense. The same general approach to working with hospice should work well -- but a lot more flexibility may be needed.
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When I needed my garage door fixed, I was told to expect the technician between 1 and 6. The plumber won't usually commit except to "Monday or early Tuesday." I can get the exact hour I want for my next doctor appointment -- if I can wait until February 3rd. If I need to come in sooner, the closest they can come is 2 hours earlier than I want, in two weeks.

Why do we accept the need for some flexibility in other services we order, but expect a worker whose client before us might have a critical and time-consuming need, or whose client's caregiver might be in total meltdown and needs some compassion, to show up at an exact time?
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Jeanne, you are right, of course. My issue was with the social worker not showing and not calling. I have had to intervene for a patient when his visiting nurse repeatedly missed appointments, did not call, and he went without care, finally going to the E.R. to have his catheter changed, and in-pt hospital due to a UTI.
I am not talking about when someone is delayed by a patient's needs, but instead the nurse had her kids that day, etc. (Allowing personal lives to interfere with getting to the patient without arranging for a replacement is, imop, unprofessional).
I respect the medical professionals, but sometimes they too have issues that need correcting. Mom Mandi was doing her best and was put out by the social worker, etc.

The hospice team and the caregiver and the client should be able to work together after settling in to a plan, and yes, I agree, things can change so people need to be flexible. I am not taking sides. And then, I am not a hospice professional.
I do not have a family member on hospice. People on here have said that hospice goes to the nursing home, not to the home, but that is their experience. My experience is that hospice comes to the home and they are are so very good that now, people are not only comforted, they live beyond the 6 months!


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Re-reading my previous post, advising people to be rude to anyone was just plain rude. Sorry.
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For those who didn't know, Barry Goldwater had Alzheimer's later in his life.
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Alzheimerscg is best answer. Stop this attitude of who works for who! We work for patient & if she can't be seen because I'd your limitations then You owe her a chance either someone more flexible. I am a Hospice Case Mgr & was appalled when s family made us wait 30" while the ate & stuck us in front if Judge Judy! I will recommend releasing this or from Hospuce so we can go where we are needed! You may be spread too thin to sponsor Hospice patient. Best of luck
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I had nurses and aides coming when they wanted to. I asked for a smaller window. OT/PT set her up for an approximate time. The aide called me when she got to the patient before Mom. Nurse called the night before. I'm it when it comes to Mom. I had other things I needed to do. This same Homecare agency is our Hospice. Not many in my area. I am very aware of their time vs mine. I understand they can't pin point when they will show up. But, we were able to compromise.
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