I care for my 86 year old significant other who is slowly losing the ability to be independent. His 50 year old daughter is abusive and a nightmare to deal with. Until about 2 years ago, she constantly asked him for money and if he didn't give it to her, she would call him 4 letter words, until he gave in. Eventually, the Department of Aging suggested to her that she stopped asking her father for money. So now she has other people to call. Recently she had her landlord to call and say she is behind in her rent and said if he called her father would pay it.
I understand its his daughter and if she needs something and he's able to help he should. Where I have a problem is I have never heard her ask her father if he needs anything. She and I have no relationship because of her abusive behavior and I find it difficult to remain calm when she addresses people in the manner she does.

Her father still works on the weekends and if she goes there to see him it's always to ask for money. There is never a time she takes him lunch or even a glass of water.

Recently she called his friend (she hasn't talked to in 5 years) and told him her birthday is coming up and her father usually gives her money and asked him if he could make sure her father did it. Then the next day she called her father and said her birthday is this weekend and wanted to know if she could come and pick up her gift. I am not exaggerating, she doesn't give her Father a Father's Day, birthday or any other gifts, not even a card.

She works everyday, I dint understand and it really upsets me. Has anyone ever seen this

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Ask him to give you power of attorney so you can deal with her. I had this problem with my mom and a sibling. Mom didn't want to say "no" but was glad when I stepped in to handle it for her.
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This is a longstanding pattern. He's going to have to be the one to break it.
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