I hope this isn't a stupid question, but it just isn't clear what or how to do this. My mother is in a very loving and small assisted living facility. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 6 years ago, although my sister and I knew for some time (a couple of years) that there was something wrong. She also has heart disease and stage 3 chronic kidney disease. Should also mention the severe arthritis in her knees that make her a fall risk. She and my father were placed in this facility a month before he died. He was verbal about his wishes. Wanted to be cremated and didn't want to be resuscitated should he stop breathing, etc. During this time my mother stated that she didn't want to be cremated...(understood, no problem).. But never said anything about not being resuscitated... We we're focusing on him at the time, in fact she was very upset about it. Since his death there has been a sharp decline in her dementia as can be expected. In her living will she states that she does not want to be kept alive artificially in the event that it is determined that nothing more can be done... (No breathing help, no feeding tube, etc.) Recently when having a conversation with the nurse at the facility, she was asking about a DNR. This came up when I went out of town for a couple of days. When I leave, there is nobody here in this town to be their for her in case there is an accident or severe health crisis that puts her in an ambulance to the hospital. (My daughter lives nearby, but is not reliable in this case, can't take it. Won't visit her unless I'm there with them.) I explained to them what her LW says, but they need a signed form. The nurse said that I really should discuss it with her. My question is how do I do it... She hates these kinds of discussions, is not reasonable anymore, and already thinks we're out to put her away until she dies. I'm finding it a very difficult thing to do. My sister expects me to do it because she lives in another state, I've (my husband and I) had to care for both of them for the past 6 years with no real help from my siblings. My sister wants her to have a signed DNR in place so that we don't have to face "pulling the plug" after something happens to her. But, obviously, she's not willing to discuss it with her. How do I approach the subject with my mother? I know that she didn't like it for my Dad, but it could have just been about not wanting him to die, not necessarily about herself. And, of course, the dementia causes her to not be able to reason clearly on anything. Just was hoping to get some suggestions about. Thanks in advance.