I have posted questions & responses on this forum before. Aging Care is a fantastic resource! Now I need recommendations from those with more experience than me.
My 89-year-old mom is in poor health, has dementia, and has deteriorated over the last 3 - 4 months, including about a 20-pound weight loss. Four days ago she fell & broke her right hip in the AL. She had surgery for stability & pain control. Now she is lethargic, on bipap with inability to be weaned. She looks absolutely pitiful & it hurts me to see her in this state. She has advanced directives that state no extraordinary measures to prolong life. I spoke to the hospitalist physician & told him that she had already been evaluated by hospice twice & that I would not object to yet another hospice evaluation. He said "Let's wait a few days..." This is now the 4th day after her fall. She is lethargic, dependent on bipap for oxygenation, cannot swallow, & I haven't seen her move spontaneously or in response to commands in 4 days. She looks like she has been hit by a truck. It is heart breaking to see this once feisty woman in this situation.
I don't want to be accused of "pulling the plug" too soon or appearing to want her gone, but I do not want my mother to be an extraordinary source of income for the hospital nor do I want her to continue suffering. I would appreciate any suggestions that would help decrease the amount of time that she is in this semi-vegetative state.
Also, my 92-year-old father is very distressed by this situation & it is extremely hard on him to see her this way.