We cannot afford to hire a live-in with my spouse's parent, nor would the parent accept such an arrangement. We do not have room nor emotional resources to take parent in. The parent has no one else but my spouse and one other child.
Between them, one takes care of washing clothes & transportation; one takes care of house repair & yard work. The parent is in mid 90's, resistant to suggestions like getting a microwave, setting up a bedroom (as room available on first floor), using assistive devices when necessary, getting eye exams. Parent finally gave in to get Meals on Wheels. I've been reading lots of these posts. Where to draw the line in the sand before considering placement? And, how to go about getting an evaluation for placement? Must we wait for a hospitalization for an illness or a fall or other serious event?
Am writing because one of our kids visited this grandparent today & feels there are issues with vision. They spoke with my spouse, who is very concerned & asked me how one goes about having someone evaluated for home safety and placement.
Several things i need to share. 1st, parent is mentally competent. 2nd, the only other child has verbalized that any money to be inherited is "their money." This person has turned a deaf ear to any thoughts of Assisted Living or other arrangements for the parent. And 3rd, for all my spouse and I know, the other child could already have P.O.A. Why, do you ask? Because both the parent & the child have lied to my spouse (and we have documented proof) that the parent is giving sums of money to that child. They seem to keep other secrets as well from my spouse. The other child is controlling and the parent allows that control. My spouse is good hearted & continues to help the parent. 4th Within the last year, the doctor said parent was not a candidate for a nursing home. But the doctor does not know everything about the situation.
I just feel bad for my spouse & that's why I'm asking for input.
Please advise. Thank you.