So things have been going as good as they could with dad at home with us.
It's been two weeks and boy are we exhausted!
I'll refresh and say he's 98 with end stage heart failure and dementia.
I've been able to keep him comfortable in an extra bedroom downstairs.
The problem is he will not lay down and go to sleep in his bed! He tells me he's afraid to go to sleep because he won't wake up. So he sits on the end of the bed and falls asleep and then falls onto the floor. It's very hard trying to get him up. I'm trying to keep him home as long as possible since he doesn't have long to live. He refuses to take any pills so I cannot give him anything to make him sleep. His dementia gets worse with each fall and that's a horse of another color! But we're dealing with it.
Any suggestions on how we can calm him down and get him to sleep?
He's getting weaker by the day and is very shaky and won't be walking much longer. We made the decision to place him in a hospice facility if he cannot walk and becomes incontinent.
Does it seem to you that he’s actively enjoying the life he’s living now because he’s in a familiar place?
I ask because until I read your comment about the “weeping” legs, I thought your reasoning was probably OK. But I’ve had some experience with this particular symptom, and whether he’s walking or not, this is so terribly serious and needs ongoing very specific care, and unless you can get full time services in to manage it I really feel afraid that no one will benefit from the situation he’s in now. Not him, not you…..
I’d actually hope that if he’s seen by a nurse or EMT thatTHEY would tell you that he should be given trained
help, or tell you that he’s OK as he is.
If his legs are open and oozing they can be magnets for all kinds of bad outcomes.
If you are fortunate enough to have a hospice site nearby, I hope it’s one of the best. My family has had such beautiful experiences with hospice. I so hope yours are the same.
Hugs and gentle landings…..
Once in bed, I’d be sneaky and grind up a GRAVOL and put it in a drink (smoothies work great, but so would coffee). GRAVOL is very safe, I even took them while pregnant.
If he won’t sit in his bed, I think funkygrandma’s idea about the lazy boy recliner another great idea, as you can easily raise the legs to that he’s more reclined, and better for his legs in a sleeping position.
I have a nurse coming tomorrow and I will ask her how hospice works and how he can qualify. The nurses sent me some supplies to clean his weeping legs but he won't keep the wrapping on. He gets delirious for days every time he falls as well. Which is making things very difficult.
Thanks so much. We do need some help at this point. And we want to keep him here since he doesn't have much time left.
And of course you can always get hospice involved now while he is still at your home. They will supply a hospital bed for him, along with all needed supplies, equipment, and medications, all covered 100% under dads Medicare. They will also have a nurse come once a week to start, and an aide to bathe him at least twice a week.
Wishing you and your dad the very best.