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I can literally sit right beside her. She yells if I’m there, if I’m in the bathroom, if I’m literally next to her. I never get sleep. She keeps the entire house up at night from the yelling and screaming. She calls my name and won’t sleep. I have her on meds, I’ve actually tried her on a few things. It’s like she’s super woman. Nothing works. She’s constantly screaming and the doctors said she isn’t in any physical pain. I’d like to get her into more activities, however we can’t get out the house without her screaming someone is trying to kill her. I’m not sure what stage dementia this is. She needs assistance to do everything. She can walk and can semi feed herself. But dressing and using he bathroom she can’t do alone. She knows her name and address. But she’s afraid of everything. Even family members. I’m afraid someone will think something is happening to her the way she carry’s on and send the cops! I love her so much and I don’t want to send her to home because I want her to be comfortable and feel loved by someone who loves her. I also fear that the way she carry’s on they may lose their cool. It’s like she can run on 1 hour of sleep. She never sleeps. She yells from sun up to sun down calling my name. It’s a fight to get her dressed or to the bathroom. This is the worst thing to watch someone you love so much turn into someone you don’t know. She cries historically all day. It’s like she knows she’s not right but she can’t explain it and it upsets her. I since her fear and it breaks my heart. Sometimes I get so frustrated I myself am depressed. My life revolves around her. And because she took care of me I want to always take care of her. But it’s hard. We have a small family and nobody else cares so it’s just me. I’m not gonna say they don’t care it’s just nobody wants to deal with this. Caregivers don’t get the props they deserve. I just wish I could make this all go away. If anyone has advice or just someone who understands I would appreciate it. Sorry for the long post

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My answer is not why the patients yell 24/7, however, sometimes looking for a simple answer at the time could help make them more comfortable.

Suggest straightening out their Lollipop underwear because one side could be cutting into their groin. Do that only if they are not going to hit you. How would the doctors know if this was painfully uncomfortable for the patient if they cannot explain to anyone?

As far as medication, an expert geriatric M.D. who often posts on this site,
lists Trazadone (Desyrel) as an option.

It would be hard, if not impossible to sustain listening to the yelling. I would feel so helpless.

Does she accept a gentle back rub to calm her? So she can sleep?

Try different techniques to distract her. Have music on.

The police/sheriff have a program (called C.L.E.A.R.) in my area, for vulnerable adults. You sign them up, and the authorities take in their issues when coming out on a call. I don't think you need to live in fear that they will come out. Be reassured that they want to work with the community, and understand and protect our elders. Invite them inside. Yeah, ask them to sit with her for just ten minutes.

Are there times she is not yelling?
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Just an FYI

while Ativan is often used in hospitals it might not be a good choice for your mom now

do you take your mom to a neurologist ?

for awhile, we tried seroquel which is sleep inducing but didn't work well for mom - next we tried risperdal which worked better and she was titrated down over 2 years and no longer takes any meds, although I have Xanax for her to take ahead of dental appointments but not sure it will be enough for her to be cooperative
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Like the doll idea. As close to real as u can get.

Does Mom go to a Neurologist? Maybe time for a Psychiatric Hospital. They will try the right kind of meds. I really don't know how u live like this.
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Channie16 Dec 2, 2019
joAnn29-Thank you for your response. I don’t know how I live like this either, but I take it one day at a time. I’m thinking I will definitely try the doll! Thank you 😊
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My mom went through a stage where she called me every few minutes, yes even sometimes when I was in the room with her. Her physical needs at that time were challenging but it was the calling that really, really got to me, as you no doubt know it is almost impossible to tune that out.

There was a woman who lived across the hall from my mother in the nursing home who "sang" (kind of a wordless, lilting vocalization) almost all her waking moments, I couldn't help but wonder how her vocal cords must feel. Anyone who has ever visited a facility has probably noticed the person who is constantly calling "help me", or "nurse" or "please can I go to the bathroom" - the uninitiated probably shudder at the uncaring aides who don't respond to these pleas. All I can say is that it is sometimes because of an unmet need and you will have to play detective to identify it because they often can't identify what is bothering them.

Mom, are you hungry? Thirsty? Bored? In pain? Do you have to pee? Lonely?......

And do speak to your doctor about this and emphasize that you need some relief, my mom was helped by the antidepressant mirtazapine but one size doesn't fit all and there are many other medications that may help.
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Channie16 Dec 2, 2019
Hello Cwillie- My grandma is taking Ativan right now. It worked well during a hospital stay. However it’s like once she got on it good at home it stopped working. I would give it to her and her mood wouldn’t change, she wouldn’t even get drowsy.. She has tried a variety of meds over the past 2 years, however this year has been the worst. Someone is always trying to kill her, she lets out a scream as if someone is really trying to harm her and neighbors have called police thinking someone broke into our home. Like you it’s the constant calling my name that gets me. Since 7pm (it’s 7:36pm now) she has called my name 128 times literally I counted. I don’t know what else to do. I also don’t know what stage of dementia this is.
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Channie,

I don't have any suggestions since you have tried meds to calm her or reduce her anxiety but I understand what you're experiencing

While my mom does sleep, she also can talk nonstop and call out for me - even if I lie down with her to get her to nap, she'll keep it up -
she too is afraid of someone killing her

mainly, I think it is just that they are scared as their brains are broken

have you you tried getting her a baby doll or stuffed animal ? These do seem to help soothe them and give them something to cuddle
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Channie16 Dec 2, 2019
The thought of her brain being broken and maybe she’s aware is want hurts me and makes me feel bad for even complaining about the situation. But I’m happy to know there are other people out there going through this. It brings me some type of comfort knowing I’m not alone.
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