I know my mom doesn’t want to be alone, but she comes into the living room and falls asleep. She can’t stay awake. I try to encourage her to rest in her room, but most of the time she won’t. And then she’s asleep again right there in the chair!

She has dementia and it’s getting worse. Sometimes if I’m not in the room when she wakes up it confuses her, so I feel like I have to sit right there in the living room. I hate it. I’m so frustrated!

I don’t want to be upset at her or her at me, but this is becoming an issue.

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Put a little bell on her lap so that when she awakens it can notify you in a nearby room, or use a baby monitor which is in fact much preferrable. Then set up your own nearby room to be comfortable and happy getaway place to read, watch TV or listen to true crime podcasts, whatever moves you. Hobbies, or whatever. You need your own peace and there are ways to do it even if it involves a baby monitor or camera set up. Wishing you good luck. Hope you will update us if you find a resolution that might help others.
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KarlaDay, I see from your profile that your Mom had lived in Assisted Living for 8 years due to a list of health issues. My gosh, I wonder if she misses all the friends she may have made, and the Staff that she got to know. When it comes to falling, one can fall just as easily at home as living elsewhere, it just happens.

Living at home with someone from another generation isn't easy, and to throw dementia into the mix makes it even harder. Your Mom's world right now is getting up in the morning, eating, falling asleep, repeat, rinse for lunch and dinner.

If your Mom is in her room and wakes up, is she also confused? If so, do you need to sit with her in the room?

As you are finding out, it can take a village to care for someone who has memory issues and other health related problems. You could hire a caregiver to come in, so you can have some breathing room, but that can become expensive.

It may be time to think about going back to the Assisted Living, especially if the facility has a memory care section. The caregivers see and understand the different aspects to dementia. It's a different situation, as the caregivers get to go home at night and get a restful night sleep.
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I see on your profile that your mom was in Assisted Living before you moved her in with you. If snoring bothers you, then you should probably place her back in assisted living. Snoring is nothing compared to what you will be dealing with as her dementia progresses. Please understand, she can't help what she does and trying to make her do something is pointless. It only serves to frustrate you and probably upset her.
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KarlaDay Mar 2020
I know. That’s why I feel bad to say anything. Sometimes she just looks so uncomfortable trying to prop herself up in her chair.
She was in assisted living, in her own little room, with staff and community around her. She was more mobile then. Once she had the last fall a year ago, she can’t be by herself. Living with her 24/7 really brings all of the issues to light. There’s no rhyme or reason to any of the issues, it seems. There’s no predicting what will happen next. I’m constantly on guard.

The reason we moved into a 2-bedroom apartment was to have space and time that’s separate. All it’s done is isolate us both in different ways.

i have signed up for counseling. I am also looking into paying someone to come in because there’s no real reliable source otherwise.

I’m taking these steps to help me make any future decisions needed for both of us.
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